Little Blue Duckling
by Elphaba-Rose
Summary: Leonardo will eventually learn that life begins as a duckling and then grows into a swan. What happens to make him realise this you wonder? Well read and you'll find out...Slash but not incest


A.N: -Sheepish grin- I don't know how to explain this little plot bunny. It's just totally new and unexplored territory to me I guess. You know, I'm pretty much into boy/girl couples involving the guys, well, in fact I'm very much a boy/girl supporter all round, it's not that I'm against gay couples, far from it, hey I've been raised with a bunch of drag queens acting as my 'aunties', I'm just more comfortable writing straight relationships. But this just hopped into my head, and seriously it was calling to me until I started writing it. So this will be new to me, and quite scary to be honest. Please don't flame me, I'm just exploring my creative ideas. I mean, I can't just stick to a certain subject all the time can I? Nope so here we go. So I'm warning you now this is slash, yaoi, whatever you want to call it, but not incest, definitely not incest. Now _that_ guys I'm definitely against, sorry but I am.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, blahdey, blahdey blah. However, I do own this plot bunny, and as far as I'm aware, it's a pretty original one too.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Little Blue Duckling

"It's not like him to be out this late," Mikey frowned, turning his concerned emerald eyes from the clock, which read one a.m, to his two older brothers.

"It's not like him to be out at all on his own free will you mean," Donny corrected with a sigh, glancing up from his laptop.

Raph shrugged carelessly and took a swig of soda, half of his attention on the movie on TV.

"Maybe he just needs to get out," He suggested in a tone that implied he had no worries for their eldest brother whatsoever, which at this moment in time, he didn't.

"During the late hours of every night for a week? Come on Raph, that's not Leo behaviour, _your _behaviour maybe, but not Leo's," Don reasoned to the red turtle lounging on the only armchair, his legs hanging lazily over one of the arms.

Raph looked at the brainy turtle and considered his words. As usual, Donatello was right. It _was _odd behaviour on their leader's part. Leonardo never left the lair without saying where he was going, why and how long he'd be. Now, he said he was going out and left it at that. He hadn't been getting in until the early hours of the morning either.

However, during the day, he was still the same old Leonardo. He always arose at six a.m, bang on the dot, even if he got in at three 'o' clock. He was always ever attentive in class, always polite and obedient to their master. And he was the same Leo to them, he nagged a little, joked a little, and was just the Leo he'd always been.

But still, why the need to go out every night and stay out so late? It didn't make sense.

"What's he even doin' up there? I mean, it's not likely he's gonna be doin' Raphie's job, beatin' Purple Dragons up or anythin', is it?" Mikey mused thoughtfully, turning to the television only to switch it off. Raph gave a 'hey' but didn't fight. He'd seen that movie plenty of times anyway.

"Well no, it's not, at least, I don't reckon so. He may just want to meditate outside for a while, you know, moonlight and stars and all that spiritual stuff," Donny suggested, closing the lid down on his laptop.

He leant on it, tucking his feet up beneath him and sitting on them. He looked once at Mikey seated next to him, pondering his theory with the face that always made them go soft because his thinking face was just too adorable. And then he looked once at Raph, who was looking straight back at him, staring, with a raised eye ridge, at Donny. The temperamental turtle didn't believe that.

"Yeah, but why all of a sudden? Why this last week?" He challenged. Donny shrugged.

"Maybe he like, thinks he can only meditate and stuff so far in here now? Like, he thinks he needs open air and stuff?" Mike questioned, but his voice doubted.

He fiddled with the remote a little nervously. Talks like this worried him. He hated change, feared it almost. And when they had talks like this, it usually meant something was changing beyond their control. He hoped with the life of him it wasn't going to be something life disrupting. Changes involving his family were those that he feared most.

Donny made to debate Mike's hypothesis but they heard the clunk of a wooden cane on the hard, cold floor, and the almost silent scrape of claws. They looked up to find Master Splinter passing them, on his way to the kitchen. He was raising a furry grey eyebrow at them, a look of fatherly superiority on his old face, glaring down at his teenagers with an air of somebody not impressed.

"Maybe you should stop second guessing your brother, and trust him," He told the turtles lightly. His aged voice was calm, although his face betrayed this, and the three young brothers mentally winced, knowing they were in for it tomorrow.

"Yes Sensei," The boys chorused obediently. The rat gave something of a smile and carried on towards the kitchen.

"Well I'm off to bed, I'm beat," Raph declared, setting his empty soda can onto the coffee table and stretching as far as his body would allow.

Don and Mike were hardly paying attention, both fiddling with either the remote or the catch on their laptop, whilst staring off into space. Sensei had that effect on you, Raph realised with a shrug. With the smallest of words, he could make you think for hours.

"What? Oh, right, good night Raph," Donny smiled up at him, after noticing he'd said something.

"'Night bruv," Mikey replied, still half in his little thinking place up in Mikey World. He went to Mikey World often, it was like a regular vacation spot to him, where superheroes and mutants accepted into society lived.

Raph waved his hand in a goodnight and started towards his bedroom, yawning and rubbing his beak wearily. Just as he was passing the front door, out of the corner of his chocolate eyes, he saw the doorknob twist and heard the door creak. He smirked, knowing exactly who it was. It could only be Leon, April and Casey always knocked.

Leonardo entered the lair as quietly as he could, but not sneakily. A tiny, dreamy smile played on his lips as he shut the door behind him, not trying to hide the fact he'd walked in, but because others may be asleep. When the door had clicked shut, and he looked up to see Raph stood facing him, glaring with his arms crossed, the smile vanished instantly.

"Hey Raph," He said almost casually, looking down to undo the buttons on his trench coat.

"What time do you call this Leo?" Raph asked sharply. Leo's head snapped up in surprise and he fought the urge to burst out laughing.

"It's ten past one Raph," He grinned, pulling the coat from his shoulders. "Do you know who you sound like?" He asked with a chuckle, hanging the garment up.

"It's not funny Leo," Raph snapped, irritated at his brother's carefree attitude. It seriously pissed him off, Leo acting like him all of a sudden in his actions.

"Oh, gimme a break Raph. You gonna lecture me about my attitude and where I go and what I do as well?" Leo rolled his brilliant sapphire eyes and placed his large hands on his hips.

"Only 'cause you're actin' like me outta nowhere!" Raph shot back angrily. The impending argument attracted an audience of two more brothers and a father, knowing things were going to get out of hand, and a referee was going to be required.

"So I'm not allowed a little privacy anymore?" Leo asked hotly, raising an eye ridge.

"Don't be stupid Leo. _Your _privacy is locking yourself up in your room with your meditation shit," Raph snorted. He was well aware his Sensei just gave out a warning growl at his language, but he was too pissed off to care.

"Well forgive me for wanting something a little different, Your Highness," Leo sketched an elaborate bow, his voice dripping with sarcasm his brothers never knew he had.

Rolling his eyes once more in irritation, Leo took a few steps forward to push past his brother and go to his sanctuary, his dreamland. If there was one moment in the day Hamato Leonardo truly looked forward to, it was the time he crashed into slumber, because in that place, his wildest dreams came true. He and his brothers were accepted into the human world, they were free to love whomever they pleased, were allowed to work and live amongst humans. They were free.

Raphael shoved him back to face him. He wasn't finished yet.

"Where were ya Leo, huh? What's so fascinatin' up there ya havta go every night? C'mon Leo, where were ya?" Raph asked, matching his older brother glare for glare.

"It's none of your business where I go," Leo replied coldly, narrowing his eyes in antagonism.

Mike suddenly had an uncontrollable urge to smash the tension with humour. He often did that; it was one of his traits. He could always bring a smile to the darkest of faces; he could always bring light when there was none. And his family and friends loved him for it, because when there is no hope in your life, all you need is a smile and the hope is returned in full splendour.

"He's been out with a guy!" He said with a cheery laugh, expecting everyone to start laughing with him.

But they didn't. Don shook his head in fond exasperation. Master Splinter shot him a look that clearly said 'I'll be seeing you tomorrow'. Raph merely rolled his eyes at his little brother's childishness. Leo, however, glared at him, his face full of resentment and dread. Mike's face melted into one of frightened seriousness.

There was silence, an awkward, tense silence. Leo licked his lips and gulped, shaking with fright.

"Alright, I was," He whispered into the quiet.

"What?" Raph hissed at him, narrowing his eyes. Leo took a deep breath, noting their looks of shock and horror.

"I was out with a guy," He stated, head held high, eyes burning. Inside, his stomach churned. He felt like he was going to be sick.

Don and Mike's mouths fell wide open, holding their older brother with a look of surprise and concern. Master Splinter's eyes widened and he clutched his cane harder, but other than that, he showed no emotion. Raphael, on the other hand, scowled at their leader in disgust and disbelief. Leo felt his heart break a little.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Raph snarled, his eyes snapping.

"Why would I joke?" Leo asked rhetorically, quietly.

"You're tellin' me you're…you're some fuckin' queer?" The red turtle thundered the last part.

It reverberated painfully in their ears and Don and Mike winced. Leo's heart broke a little more, and he struggled to keep a straight face.

"I believe the proper term is a homosexual," Leo corrected softly.

Raphael lunged at him, growling. It took swift reflexes on Donatello and Master Splinter's part to hold him back, and even then he struggled, dying to knock some sense into his older brother. Leo took a step backwards, shocked and scared his brother would resort to such measures.

He knew telling them was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, but he truly didn't expect this reaction from Raphael. After all they'd been through together, he had hoped he would accept it, a trifle such as sexuality not even coming into the equation of brothers. If he thought anyone was going to disapprove it would be his Sensei, as old-fashioned as the rat is. But Splinter was regarding Raphael with disappointment, holding him back.

Raphael was scared. It was a whole new concept to him. He didn't want to think about every time Leo went out, in case he was with a guy. To him, it was wrong. Guys weren't supposed to go with guys. In fact, it grossed him out. Leo couldn't be gay! He was just confused, lonely, needed a friend. He wanted to make Leo see sense, make him realise what he was doing was just sick and unnecessary.

Donatello and Michelangelo were a mixture of denial and acceptance. Deep down, they both knew it was the same Leonardo, no matter which gender he was attracted to. Yet, they couldn't remember him ever giving any indication of his real sexuality. Maybe it was because they lived in such proximity, but they never thought he might not be straight. Sure he never got flustered when they caught April in a towel after coming out of the bath when they'd popped round, and he never got excited over girl's underwear commercials, or sex scenes in a movie. But they thought it was just Leo, keeping everything under a calm exterior, not the fact he just simply wasn't interested. However, they slowly came to realise they didn't care. He was still Leo, nothing else mattered.

Master Splinter was proud of his eldest for telling the truth and accepting who he was. And he was proud of Donatello and Michelangelo for accepting it quietly with open minds, condemning no one. But he was ashamed of Raphael. He thought he'd taught him better than that, had thought their way of life taught him to accept all things that were different. But he sensed Raphael's fear when the temperamental teen stopped struggling.

"Let me go, I ain't gonna do nothin'," He eventually said quietly, looking away from all eyes.

Hesitantly the rat and the brainy turtle released him, and true to his word he stayed where he was. After a minute or so, he looked up into Leo's frightened eyes.

"You're confused Leo. You're not gay, just lonely," He argued, his voice calm.

Don wondered if the worst of Raphael's temper was over yet. Leo frowned.

"I'm not confused! Raph, I didn't just wake up one day and decide to be gay you know, it's been a part of me for years, maybe all my life," He reasoned, holding his hands out in a peaceful motion. Raph shook his head.

"It's fuckin' wrong Leo! It's the most fuckin' wrong thing on this damn planet! It's sick and gross and twisted!" He cried, furious. He was clenching and unclenching his fists, flexing out the urge to cuff Leo one straight in the face.

"What do you have against them huh? What have they done to you?" Leo demanded, taking a step towards his brother, despite still trembling with terror. Tears threatened to spill down his cheeks any minute. With every word Raph spat at him, his heart broke a little more.

"They're wrong in the head! They think they can screw any guy they come across, gay or not!" Raph defended his opinion indignantly, standing, intimidating, over his older brother.

"They're not all like that! Sure some are, but it's just like how you get rapists and murderers. Or are they ok because they're straight?" Leo asked bitterly, his eyes shining. It took most of Raph's strength not to punch him at that moment.

"Shut the fuck up Leo! You don't know what you're talkin' about!" They were inches away from each other now, yelling in their face. Master Splinter daren't intervene, just in case one of them got hurt.

"Look, I tried denying it ok? I tried pretending I wasn't having these feelings, that they weren't there at all ok? But it was killing me! It was like denying my name's Leonardo and I'm a seventeen-year-old mutant turtle living in the sewers! It's just not done," Leo cried, distressed. He wanted to grab his brother and shake him by the shoulders, make him realise it was a part of who he was.

"Listen," Without warning, Raphael reached forwards and seized Leo's sword strap, dragging him so close, he could feel Leo's terrified, ragged breath on his face, and see the cold-blooded fright in his eyes. When he spoke his voice was cold, hard and dark. "No brother of mine is gay,"

His fingers uncurled from the strong, brown cotton strap and Leo stumbled backwards with a silent sigh of relief. Just as he thought he was off the hook, Raph brought up his other hand and back fisted him on the cheekbone. The sickening crack of bone on bone echoed throughout the lair and sent Leo reeling backwards.

"Raphael!" Splinter cried, horrified, and leapt forwards to grasp his second eldest's arm.

But Raph did not fight his Sensei's clutch. He merely watched Leo stagger backwards, clasping his cheek in pain, into the side table, tripping over it and crashing to the floor with a hurt moan. Mike and Don instantly shot to his side, soothing him as silent tears spilt from his eyes. He looked up at Raph with a face of sorrow, guilt and fear.

"It's who I am Raph, I can't deny it anymore," He whispered, the tears sliding off his lips.

"I _said _no brother of mine is gay," Raph repeated with a snarl.

He spun on his heel, snatched his arm from Master Splinter and marched to his room, shutting the door with a furious slam. Leo's eyes went wide with understanding, and he turned his head into Donatello's shoulder and began to weep. Disownment would strike anyone hard. Master Splinter scowled after his moody son, then sighed and knelt by his eldest.

"Leonardo, look at me," Tenderly he curled a delicate claw around Leo's chin and lifted it from his brother's plastron.

Tearfully, Leo gazed into his master's sympathetic eyes, his tears running onto the rat's hand. A large, ugly purple bruise was already forming on the bone underneath his right eye, a stark contrast to the jade green skin. Splinter sighed again and cupped his cheeks with his hands, gracefully wiping away the saltwater. Leo winced, his cheek tender no matter how gentle his father was.

"I'm proud of you this night," Splinter admitted with a small smile. "You've finally accepted who you are and shown it to the world with dignity. Raphael it seems, has yet to learn how to do so. Give him time my son, he is as frightened as you are," He said gently. Leo nodded.

"Yes Sensei," He breathed.

Splinter smiled and kissed him soothingly on the forehead, something he had not done since they were children. His knees creaked as he rose to his feet. With one last smile at Leonardo, he went to Raphael's aid. His room was oddly quiet, and the rat suspected more tears.

Leo gave a shuddering sigh and wiped away his tears with the palm of his hands. Donatello wrapped his arms around him and Mikey snuggled up to his other side, still finding warmth and protection from his big brother at seventeen years of age.

"Thanks guys, I know this is hard on you too," He smiled a little.

"Don't be silly Leo, you're our bro," Mike grinned cheerily, his emerald eyes sparkling reassuringly.

"Mike's right. You're still Leo, whether you're gay or not. You're our brother, and your sexuality doesn't even come into it. We'll always love you, no matter what, whether you like guys, or girls, or Arabian tree monkeys," Donny explained, squeezing Leo's shoulders. The older turtle looked at them, and smiled gratefully.

"Does Arabia even _have _tree monkeys?" Mike wondered thoughtfully. Don rolled his eyes and ignored the stupid question, whilst Leo gave a halfhearted laugh.

"What about Raph though?" Leo's laugh vanished as quickly as it came, replaced with a look of fear.

"People who are so against homosexuals are generally insecure about themselves, or their sexuality," Donny replied lightly.

"Dude, are you sayin' Raph's gay too?" Mike asked gleefully.

"I didn't say that!" Don snapped hastily before Mike got the wrong idea. "What I mean is, in Mikey's terms, Raph isn't as secure about himself as you have come to be Leo," He explained more thoroughly. Leo frowned, his brow creasing in self-doubt.

"But I wouldn't disown any of you," He declared, his voice breaking.

"Bruv, you heard what Sensei said. He's scared too," Mike comforted.

"And he needs time, just as we all do," Donny added.

"I think I should call April," Leo sighed as if realising something important.

"What for?" Mike frowned.

"It's not fair of me to put this pressure on him when he needs to come to terms with it as much as I do. Having me here will simply make him angrier," Leo explained with a smile.

"So you're going to stay with April and Casey for a few days?" Donny asked, sympathetic.

"If she allows it. It won't be for long, just until Raph cools down enough so we can talk properly," Leo tenderly caressed one of the cheeks on Mike's downcast face.

"See you at Christmas then," He sighed. Leo gave a little laugh.

"I'm only going to be at April's Mike, you can come see me when you like, and maybe you could meet Alex sometime," He suggested a tad cautiously. Mike's face instantly lit up.

"Who's Alex? Your boyfriend?" He grinned widely. Leo laughed again.

"I wouldn't go that far just yet Mikey, but I do like him a lot," He smiled.

"Just…don't stay away too long ok?" Donny requested, his voice miserable. Leo smiled at him and kissed him on the forehead.

"I could never stay away too long Donny, trust me,"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April O' Neil took a deep breath and entered the living room to find her boyfriend lazing on the couch. Heart thudding, she licked her lips. She was scared to death of Casey's reaction, but knew he had to be told the reason why they were going to have a lodger for a few days. She went and sat next to him on the couch, his attention on the movie on the television.

"Who was that on the phone?" He asked. He wasn't really interested; he just wanted to make conversation.

"Casey, we have a problem," She sighed, taking one of his hands. Surprised, he looked at her and sat up, the movie quickly forgotten.

"Ya not pregnant are ya?" He asked fearfully. April shook her head, trying not to laugh.

"No Casey, I'm not pregnant, you don't have to worry," She reassured him with a smile.

"Oh, well, that's alright then," He smiled goofily and relaxed again. But his grin vanished when he saw her serious look.

"Casey…Leo's gay," She said into the waiting silence. She winced, waiting for his reaction.

"…So the problem is…?" He asked slowly, clearly puzzled. She blinked at him in shock.

"What do you mean?" She choked out, obviously expecting him to rant and rage like Raphael had done.

"So what's the problem?" Casey shrugged.

"You mean…you don't care?" She spluttered, eyes wide.

"Why should I? Do you?" He asked, honestly and truly genuine.

"Well, no! I just thought…you'd…well…" She broke off blushing.

"Take it like a homophobe," He finished knowingly. She nodded, ashamed.

"Yeah, sorry," She murmured. He squeezed her hand sympathetically.

"Ape, Mom's best friend is gay, he was like some great girly uncle. When my dad died, he taught me that it doesn't mattah who you like, how you look, nothin' like that mattahs. The stuff that mattahs, is the stuff inside you. I'm fine with gays," He explained, grinning at her awestruck face.

"Casey, that's…amazing!" She leapt on him, hugging tightly.

"So what's the problem?" He chuckled, as she withdrew grinning like a maniac. Her face suddenly morphed into solemn.

"Raph's disowned him, Leo thinks he can't be in the same house as him, he's coming to stay with us for a few days," She said quietly, again dreading her partner's actions. This time, her predictions were correct.

"That fuckin' son ovva bitch!" He yelled, jumping to his feet. He began to pace the room, cursing loudly to himself. How could his best friend do that to his brother? It was just…inhuman.

"Casey calm down!" April ordered desperately, getting up to soothe his anger. "Leo's already scared to death, he doesn't want to be here when you're like this, he doesn't need it, even if it is in his defence," She cupped his cheeks, staring pleadingly into his ice blue eyes. He softened and sighed, resting his hands on her waist.

"I know, you're right as usual. I just…can't believe he's done that," He growled.

"Raph hasn't had the same privilege as you, regrettably, so he doesn't know any better. He'll come round, I just know he will," She smiled comfortingly. He nodded and hugged her tightly.

The doorbell rang clearly throughout the apartment, its trills disturbing their moment. April sighed and went to answer the door as Casey returned to his dark brooding. Leonardo leapt on the redhead as soon as she opened the door and crushed her in a tight hug. She hugged him back, feeling her shoulder get wet.

"Hey, now come on Leo, it's going to be alright," She whispered soothingly into his ear, stroking the nape of his neck.

For a while he said nothing, merely wept in his big sister's arms. After a few minutes, the tears ceased their flow, and he was able to turn away from her and wipe his eyes, a little ashamed. She smiled comfortingly and went behind him to lock the door. She took his duffel bag full of simple essentials such as his toothbrush and clean bandanas etcetera and placed it on the floor under the coat racks.

"Come on," She said to him in the dark hall, taking his hand. She tugged him towards the light and warmth of the living room. "Have you eaten?" She suddenly asked in a motherly fashion. It gave him the heart to smile.

"Yeah, I had something at…Alex's," He answered hesitantly, tensing a little. She sighed.

"Leo, relax, no one's going to bite your head off for mentioning his name here," She said supportively. Feeling a little more at ease, he nodded and followed her into the living room.

He smiled shyly up at Casey, suddenly feeling very small and intimidated. He didn't know what to expect, after all, Casey and Raph were best friends. But the hotheaded vigilante smiled warmly and clapped him on the shoulder as if nothing had changed since the last time they met.

"Heya kiddo," He greeted, squeezing his shoulder.

"Hi Case," He beamed gratefully.

"I'll just go get us something to drink," April offered and disappeared into the small kitchen.

"Leo," Casey indicated him to take a seat, and feeling a little shy, Leo obeyed, perching on the edge of the comfy armchair adjacent to the couch, where Casey flopped down. "Y'do know y'can stay as long as ya like yeah?" The human grinned at him, an invitation Leo was never more grateful for.

"Yeah, thanks Casey, I really appreciate it," Leo mumbled, blushing a little and relaxing more into his chair.

"Ah know y'do. That fuckin' prick ovva bruvver of yours probably doesn't though," Casey growled, glaring at the television. Leo shifted uncomfortably.

"Casey, please," He muttered awkwardly, avoiding his friend's eyes.

"Sorry, ah keep forgettin' ya don't like language," He grinned sheepishly.

"No, it's not that, it's your apartment, you're free to say what you like. I just…would like to avoid the subject of Raphael, if you don't mind," Leo whispered, fingering the bruise on his cheek. Luckily, it was dark and the only light came from the TV, so neither April or Casey had seen the welt.

"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, guess ah wasn't thinkin'," Casey apologised sincerely, observing their turtle friend squirm nervously under his gaze.

"It's alright, I'll talk about it soon, honest, just give me a little time," Leo sighed.

Casey nodded as his girlfriend re-entered with three steaming cups of tea in her hands. Leo gratefully accepted his and breathed in the fumes as if they were heaven. April laughed; glad some things just don't change. She handed her partner his tea then moved towards the light switch on the wall, gracefully sipping from her own cup.

"Let's turn the lights on. Casey turn off the television," She ordered. Casey instantly obeyed and the room flickered into darkness until April flicked the light switch. Leo winced, waiting for it, as light bathed the room.

April shrieked and nearly dropped her cup. Leo's right cheek had swollen to nearly twice its size and it was covered with ugly purple and blue hues, starting from just under his eye down to his jaw. He turned his head to the side quickly, hiding the bruise from view. April gasped, set her tea down almost carelessly onto the coffee table and knelt by him. She wrapped her delicate fingers around his chin and turned his injured cheek towards her.

"Leo, how did you get this?" She asked quietly, her voice emotionless.

"I…fell down," He lied hopelessly, wincing as she fingered the bruise.

"Leo…" She broke off warningly.

"I…Raph hit me," He whispered, ashamed with himself. He clutched his mug tighter and clenched his eyes shut as she inhaled breath through her teeth.

"That bastard…that fucking bastard!" Casey stormed to his feet, slopping tea all over, but he didn't care. Leo flinched.

"Casey," April said calmly, closing her eyes exasperatedly.

"He'll fuckin' save women, 'n' beat up punks, 'nd all that honourable shit, yet he'll fucking punch his own pissin' brother at the same time!" Casey continued to rant, waving his hands about frantically and dripping hot tea everywhere.

"Casey!" April said sharper.

He silenced instantly at her tone of voice. No one messes with April when she spoke like that, it just simply wasn't done, especially not by Arnold Casey Jones.

"Screaming like that at two in the morning is not going to help matters any Casey. Now go get me some ice," She ordered patiently. He had never moved so fast in his life, not even when Hun was on his tail.

"It's not that bad," Leo said lamely, blushing terribly. She sighed and cupped his other cheek.

"Leo, it's swollen bad, I need to get it down," She reasoned gently. He shrugged, but didn't answer.

When the small ice pack was tenderly placed to his cheek, he hissed with pain, clenching his eyes shut. She shushed him, rubbing his thigh in a motherly fashion. He gripped his tea hard, burning his palms through the porcelain. Casey sat on the chair arm, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"When did he hit ya?" He asked quietly.

"When we were arguing. He..." Leo gulped, fresh tears forming in his eyes once more. "He said no brother of his was gay, and then hit me,"

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"So, is he courting this Alex Remington?" Master Splinter asked his three remaining sons at breakfast a few days later.

Mike and Don glanced at each other as Raph scowled darkly, gripping his mug of coffee so hard his hands shook. But the old rat did not care. It would serve Raphael right. Since Leo's confession he had been arrogant, moody, pretending as if he didn't have an older brother, speaking nothing of him. Mike and Donny spoke of him in private, only to each other or Master Splinter. But the Sensei spoke of him openly, making it absolutely clear to everyone Leonardo was still a part of this family, whether Raphael liked it or not.

"Well, he said on the phone they were seeing a lot of each other, and Leo really likes him, but he's not sure they're close enough to take their relationship that far yet," Donny explained, a little cautiously, his wary hazel eyes flickering from his master to his elder brother and back again.

"Well, that sounds very promising to me. How did they meet?" Splinter asked curiously, ignoring Raphael's glares and obvious discomfort.

"Um, I think Leo saved him from bein' mugged," Mike replied carefully, looking up from chewing his waffles. Splinter nodded, interested.

"I think we shall have to invite him to dinner sometime," He suggested thoughtfully.

Raph pushed back from his chair so hard it clattered to the floor. He stalked off into the dojo, and soon one could hear him thrashing a poor punch bag. Splinter paid him no attention whatsoever, knowing if they hid this family crisis away, no one would come to terms with it. But hopefully, if they continued to be open and confront it, Raphael would accept the idea. Hopefully.

Raph continued to thrash the leather bag, tearing the skin on his knuckles. It still scared him half to death to think of his brother with a man. It wasn't natural for guys to go with guys. Or maybe it was the thought of him, Raph, being with a guy, that was grossing him out, not Leo. This was confusing, and he shook his head fiercely.

Master Splinter had said to him, no matter what would happen, Leonardo would always remain his brother, and no matter what Raphael thought of him, Leonardo would always love him. And, rather painfully to Raph, he'd also pointed out that if Raphael were gay, Leo definitely wouldn't disown him, but support him to the end. That sure made him feel guilty.

He sighed and hugged the punch bag wearily. He couldn't admit it to the others, but he really was missing having Leo around. He even kinda missed the nagging and lectures. Now he had time to think about it, he knew Leo wouldn't act any different now his secret was out. Sure he would speak about his 'boyfriend', but wouldn't Raph speak about a girlfriend if he had one? Why should a gender make any difference?

Raph frowned thoughtfully. Was he really against Leo having a relationship with a man, or was he against Leo having a relationship altogether? Would he be this obstinate if Leo said he was going out with a girl? As self-disgust hit, Raph realised he would. He would resent any of Leonardo's relationships, be it with a guy or a girl. He sighed.

Was it jealousy? Yeah, partly. He was jealous Leo had a more than friendly relationship and he didn't. But there was also fear and concern mixed up there somewhere. He was scared for his brother; scared he was going to get messed around and hurt. Leonardo wasn't a very emotionally stable person, if someone he liked a lot treated him bad, not only would Raph mortally wound that person, but also Leonardo would most likely become a depressed wreck, not feeling good enough for anybody. Raph couldn't let that happen to his brother.

He smiled in realisation. Sure it had taken a few days but Raph knew he'd come a step closer to accepting who his elder brother was. Maybe it was time to actually have a talk with Leonardo himself and apologise for that back fist. Don had said he, Raph, had hit him good, and left a huge bruise, which was not going to disappear any time soon.

With a sigh, he went to find their master.

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The young man placed the rim of the brown glass bottle to his lips and took a mouthful of the fizzy stuff inside. Satisfied with the taste, he set it down on the low table in front of him, and pulled his textbook towards him. Studying and drinking a beer at the same time probably wasn't the best thing, but he had enough sense to drink only the one bottle, something most men didn't have, and some women for that matter.

He sighed with the air of boredom but began reading; occasionally folding over the corners of pages he knew would help him in his college coursework. Still, he couldn't quite concentrate, there was something nagging him in the back of his mind, telling him to stop. With an annoyed frown, he tried to push the irksome voice away and focus on the small, spindly letters on the page. But his attention was slipping so bad, the words just merged together and made no sense whatsoever. With a groan, he closed the book and threw it into a corner.

"Fucking thing," He muttered irately to himself, taking up his drink once more.

He stared thoughtfully into the blankness of the television set, seeing pictures through it even though the device was turned off. Now a textbook wasn't stealing his mind, he felt the worry envelope him as if he was drowning in a sea of the emotion. He sighed again and tugged on his longish chestnut hair, fiddling around his jaw line with it.

He was a handsome youth of twenty years of age, but he paid no attention to it, thinking he was just your ordinary college guy. His hair was grown long for a guy, the longest strands falling just past his jaw and the nape of his neck. His eyes were an amber-brown, kind and sympathetic. He was slim and of medium height, around five foot seven. His face was still young, untainted by harsh adultery, his mouth always curving upwards at some joke or other.

Sure, Alexander James Remington was your ordinary _college _guy, but he wasn't an ordinary guy past his studies. Most people his age had wild parties every night, consuming as much alcohol and sleeping with as many people as possible once the schoolbooks had closed for the day. Most young people his age didn't even give you the time of day, let alone give every homeless person they see a little change from their pockets, help lost kids find their moms again, give up a night of partying for dinner at their family's place. But Alex did, and more.

A lot of people would accuse him of throwing away his young years, but it wasn't like that. He was simply uncomfortable at alcohol-fuelled raves, found casual sex wrong and his schoolwork important. Yeah because of this he had few friends and stayed in most nights with a good book or a movie, but to Alex, that was heaven. Each to their own after all.

This night, he fought the urge to just pick up his phone and dial his number. But he knew this was an important night for his friend, probably one of the most important nights in his life, and he would ring Alex when he was good and ready. Still, he worried. Last time his friend had an 'important night', he emerged from it with a bruise the size of New York on his face. Alex shook his head, knowing he was getting in way too deep, but he honestly didn't care. Let me sink, he thought with a dreamy smile.

The bells of the door rang throughout his apartment and frowning, he set down his drink and climbed to his feet. Glancing at the clock, he wondered who the hell would be calling at such an hour. With a sinking heart, he realised it could only be his friend. For his sake, Alex hoped all had gone well, his friend needed a lot of comforting and tender words last time, his emotional walls had been shattered almost beyond repair.

Opening the door, his suspicions were right. Leonardo stood there, smiling apologetically in the dim light shining through the open door. Alex let him in without a word, his eyes sympathetic when he saw the pain in his friend's sapphire orbs. Once the door was shut behind them, Alex cupped Leo's cheeks, mindful of the still tender bruise and lowered his face.

Leo clenched his eyes shut and turned his face out of Alex's hold so the young man's lips brushed his uninjured cheek. He had tried a couple of times, but Leo would never let him kiss him. If either of them noticed Leo was still running, neither mentioned it. Alex resisted the urge to sigh and observed his friend. He let out a gasp.

"Leo, you're bleeding!"

Leo blushed, still avoiding those eyes, knowing if he looked into them only for a second, his knees would buckle and all common sense would vanish.

"It's nothing, I just hit my head on the counter that's all," He murmured, blushing stronger as Alex took his hand to gently push him onto the couch he had vacated only a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, and how did you hit your head on the counter? And don't give me that shit about falling down again," Alex said bitterly, turning towards one of the cabinets in his small living room.

He'd swore because Leonardo usually reprimanded him for his language, and it amused both of them. But not tonight, Leo simply hung his head. Alex sighed and pulled his first aid kit from the cupboard and shut the door, returning to sit by his friend.

"Raph hit you again, didn't he?" He asked quietly. Ashamed, Leo nodded.

Alex shook his head, but chose not to say anything just yet, pulling antiseptic wipes from their packet. He sat patiently through Leo biting his lip and hissing quietly in pain as he wiped away the blood from the cut, and applied pressure to stop the already sluggish blood flow. Once the minor scrape had clotted, he stuck a little piece of gauze to the area he had hit. Luckily it was the back of his head, away from anything too important like his temples.

"Leave that on just for tonight ok? To give it a chance to start healing without infection," Alex ordered softly, setting the box of bandages and other medical stuff on the table.

"I know, Donny always used to tell me off for taking bandages and stuff off before I was supposed to," Leo said with a small smile.

Alex felt grateful towards Leo's two youngest brothers. They'd helped him more than they knew. Leo had feared they would all shun him aside, reject him. But it turned out they had accepted it without a hint of prejudice or malice, and supported him through Raphael's anger. Alex also felt thankful towards Master Splinter, who had actually suspected Leo's secret from the beginning, and had silently encouraged him to accept his secret himself.

But in addition, Alex felt a burning passion of dislike towards Raphael, despite Leonardo defending his actions. Alex had been quite lucky when he had confessed his sexuality to his own family; they had accepted it with open arms, proud and content. Sure Alex had had abuse thrown at him from his peers because of his preferences, but he could not imagine someone like your brother treating you the same way. He found it heart breaking.

And Alex did truly feel something for the mutant. He had seen past the exterior from the second he saw the turtle. Instead of a horrifying beast, he saw the kind heart, the protectiveness, the family driven determination, but also the pain of a hidden secret, the loneliness and fear. Alex felt drawn to him immediately and not just because he had saved his life either. Yes for that he was eternally appreciative, and Alex felt the need to return the favour, to take Leo's hand and pull him from the darkness.

But Leo ran every time he tried. Alex knew it was because he was gravely frightened, and all this was horribly new to him. But how could he help if Leo was too scared to accept it? He only wanted to look after him, love him, give him a reason to live besides his family. He knew Leo was also terrified of getting hurt, rejected and forgotten, but Alex could never do that, he'd fallen for the turtle too much to let him go like that. Yet whenever he tried talking to Leo about how he felt, the teen would either change the subject or become awfully submissive, which was quite unlike him. So Alex would drop it, waiting for Leo's move. He knew someday, Leo would come to him; it would just take a little time.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked softly, resting a hand on Leo's muscled shoulder.

"Yeah, I might feel a little better," The teenager admitted, smiling up at his older friend. Alex smiled back and got to his feet, telling him he was just going to make him a cup of tea.

He thought it odd that all a seventeen year old seemed to drink was tea, but then again, he first thought it bizarre how a seventeen year old was such an accomplished ninja. To be honest he thought Leo's combination of hard Ninjitsu, in which he was as confident and able as they come, and his shy and caring personality extremely cute, and proved he had not let his abilities get to his head like most people would if they had that sort of power.

Still if Leo loved tea who was he to argue? It was better than being an alcoholic anyway. At first he thought someone with Leo's honour-bound morals would object to even a drop of alcohol touching his lips, but he came to realise Leo didn't mind if he drank the stuff, as long as he didn't drink too much of it. The turtle had explained their friend Casey Jones drank every week, thankfully not a lot, but he still drank, and he was plain hilarious when he was drunk, it was when people started getting violent and moody Leonardo disliked it.

Alex had to smile at his friend's face when the teen accepted the mug of hot, sweet tea. He sat facing him on the sofa, taking up his bottle of beer and just watching him inhale the fumes, letting them calm him down, letting the heat from the mug flow through his palms to his heart. Leo took a sip of the liquid and closed his eyes appreciatively. Alex beamed and simply waited for his friend to lower his drink and begin his account.

"I'm sorry," Leo blushed, when he realised what he had been doing.

"It's alright, why should you apologise for appreciating something?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. Leo smiled softly and nodded, lowering his eyes to the orangey liquid in his mug.

"You know, I honestly thought Raphael was going to apologise, give me a big hug and tell me it was going to be ok," He said with a sigh.

"I take it he didn't?" Alex questioned dryly. Leo shook his head and Alex saw his fingers move slightly towards his face as if he was going to finger the bruise on his right cheek, but thought better of it.

"No, he didn't. I was surprised when April told me Raph wanted to talk. He doesn't like to talk about anything, act now, ask questions later," He smiled, remembering his brother fondly.

Alex said nothing, merely took a sip from his bottle. For some reason, the alcohol tasted bitter on his lips. Leo raised his mug to his mouth once, before continuing.

"Because of this, I thought he was coming over to sort everything out you know? Explain our feelings, hug and make up you know? We always seem to do that when something terrible has happened between us. I guess because he can appear so hard headed and cold one minute, then totally break down and cry and wear his heart on his sleeve the next that I love him so much," Leo paused, collecting his thoughts, and gain control over his throat, which was slowly starting to close up, threatening tears.

"And I for one envy him," Alex couldn't help but add softly. Leo blushed terribly and turned his head away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, continue," Alex smiled slightly at his timidity.

"Well, when he came, I was so scared, of what he would say, do. The first thing he said to me was 'God, that bruise is a corker'. I couldn't believe it! After all that had happened, that was all he could say. I think he expected me to laugh, because when I didn't, he looked awkward and took a seat. It was just me and him in April's kitchen, everyone else was in the living room," He paused to look up for Alex's nod of understanding.

When the older boy's hand found his own, Leo found the strength not to blush and snatch it away in fear. In fact, that was what he needed to continue.

"He apologised for hitting me, and I think he thought I was going to say it was alright, he was forgiven, but I didn't and he looked away, ashamed. He admitted he was afraid, that this was all new to him. I laughed and asked him how he thought I felt. That stopped his sympathy act. It also stopped his calmness, Raph has such a temper it scares me sometimes," Leo gave an involuntary shudder.

Controlled by the pity he was feeling for him, Alex squeezed the mutant's hand, despite it being bigger than his own.

"He started getting angry then, telling me I'd ruined what he thought was a perfect family. He said I was going to get hurt, whether I'm with a man or a woman, because we aren't supposed to have relationships, or love anybody besides the family, we were brought to this world to protect it from 'fucked-up humans', nothing else. I told him I didn't care, I was tired of acting for everybody but myself, I wanted to be selfish just this one time,"

Leo took another sip of his tea, his eyes burning now. Alex felt his own chest constrict, but fought it, for Leo's sake.

"He told me I was being stupid. I think deep down, he does genuinely care about my well being, but his anger blinded his point. He said he didn't want me seeing you anymore, if it was going to put the family at risk," Leo drew in a deep breath and looked at Alex's surprised face with tearful eyes. "I couldn't agree with that Alex. As much as I love my family, you're the best thing that's happened to me in ever such a long while,"

Alex smiled, gratifying, and stroked Leo's hand with his thumb. He knew Leo had just taken a step forwards, instead of running away, and it filled him with hope and pride.

"He…he got really angry then, and indignant. Asked why you were so special, what you had that my family didn't. When I made to answer calmly, and tell him you were entirely different to my family and who did and didn't have what didn't make any difference, but he cut across me. He asked what we did anyway, he was mocking, laughing at me. He called me a whore and said all we probably did was screw all night and that's most likely why I wouldn't stop seeing you,"

Alex drew in a shocked breath through his teeth and Leo blushed deeply, avoiding his eyes. He was ashamed the matter of sex had arisen at all, let alone involving them. Alex didn't mind however, and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"_I _got cross then. We were both on our feet, in each other's faces. I yelled at him, saying we did what _normal_ people do, talk about _normal _things like movies and music and food, do _normal _things like walk in the park or watch a movie. He said 'yeah, right' as if he didn't believe a word I was saying. I was crying, and his eyes were completely dry. And then he seemed to get all calm and said he'd accepted the fact I was gay and his brother, but he hated it, and there was no way on this Goddamned earth, me or 'my slut', were welcome at home. And then," Leo gulped, his eyes streaming.

Alex set down his bottle and slid closer towards him, encasing Leo's hand with both his own, stroking it gently.

"And then what?" He urged softly. Leo took a deep breath.

"He hit me again, in the exact same place. Only this time, I fell and hit my head on the counter. We just stared at each other, until I drew up the courage to stand up and walk out,"

Alex, realising his tale had finished, took the mug of tea from Leo's shaking hands and set it on the table. Gently, because he knew the teen was scared, he took him in his arms and held him as he wept. He expected Leo to flinch and push him away, but he didn't, he clung to the human, and cried out all his fear. Alex whispered soothingly into his ear, stroking the nape of his neck so that he shivered but calmed down.

Eventually, Leo felt brave enough to pull himself out of the arms he felt so safe in, and wipe his eyes gingerly. Alex sighed and did the work for him; caressing his cheeks so tenderly he was hardly aware he was doing so. They locked eyes for the briefest of seconds; sapphire to amber-brown, and Alex knew exactly what Leo was feeling. He smiled somewhat, as Leo looked away, blushing.

"Thank you," He whispered, taking up his tea to moisten his throat after all the speaking and crying.

"Anytime Leo,"

Just as Leo felt the human's hand on his thigh, it was gone again, and Alex had got up to put his empty beer bottle in the bin and tidy the first aid kit away. Leo shook his head, he didn't think he could handle any more affection from his friend tonight; he'd been frightened half to death when they hugged and held each other's hand.

He glanced up at the clock, ten to eleven. He really ought to be getting back to April's, but he wasn't sure he'd dare risk going back there just in case Raphael was still there. But he really couldn't invade anymore into Alex's time; he had a guilty feeling the young man had been studying, judging by the textbook slung into a corner.

Alex came and leant on the back of the couch. He'd made very little noise, but he knew Leo knew he was there. Hell, super hearing must be fun, he thought dryly. He watched him drink his tea for a few moments, knowing he was still afraid. He couldn't terrify him anymore, but he had to make sure Leo knew the offer was open.

"Hey Leo," He began gently,

"Hm?"

"I have to leave early for college tomorrow, but you're welcome to stay the night,"

Leo froze in shock, clutching his mug hard. He turned his head away from his friend to hide his embarrassment, his body tense and shaking. He knew the offer was not sexual, far from it. It was a friendly suggestion to help out a friend, but still. Alex sighed, knowing he'd just frightened the turtle even more. Maybe he was trying to push this relationship too fast for the timid teen.

"Thanks, but no thanks Alex, I…I should be getting back to April's," Leo managed to splutter, setting down his empty cup. Alex smiled sadly and nodded as Leo climbed to his feet.

"Yeah you don't want to worry her,"

The young man followed the mutant to the door and held it open for him. Leo hesitated, not quite sure how to say goodbye or thank you. Alex somehow knew though, and curled a finger under Leo's chin, lifting his face upwards. He was so small compared to him, a whole five inches difference. He smiled reassuringly to the fear in his friend's eyes. Leo didn't know where to look, his eyes, his lips, his neck? So he merely looked down, until Alex pushed his chin upwards just a millimetre, demanding his attention.

"I'm taking advantage of you now Leo, because I know you won't hit me or anything. But all I want to say is, thank you, for defending me tonight and speaking against your brother, you didn't have to do that. And everything will turn out for the best I promise you. Raphael coming to talk to you was a big step towards the better, and he said he's accepted what you are, he just doesn't like it. Time will change that, it usually does,"

He waited for Leo's nod of understanding, and smile of gratitude before continuing.

"Stop running Leonardo, it will eventually catch up with you,"

And bashfully, cautiously, Alex closed the gap on those five inches, and brought his face so close to Leo's; he could feel the teen's shocked gasp on his face. The young man's eyes flickered once from Leo's terrified eyes, down to his lips, then back up to his eyes again. Before Leo could do anything, Alex had pressed his lips upon his own.

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"Morning Casey," April greeted her boyfriend with a peck on the cheek. He grinned goofily up at her from his newspaper and mug of coffee.

"Mornin' babe," He replied as she poured herself a coffee before seating herself opposite him.

"Is Leo still in bed?" She asked, running fingers through her bedraggled hair and rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Must be, I didn't hear him come in though," He shrugged, closing the paper and laying it aside.

"You know what he's like, too damn quiet for his own good," She said with a giggle, sipping her coffee as if it were the drink of gods.

"I'm goin for a shower, I'll go check on 'im," Casey put his mug onto the table with a chink of porcelain on glass and got to his feet. April nodded.

As soon as Raphael had entered the living room after his argument with Leonardo last night, Casey charged for him. It took April and Mikey to hold him back, whilst Master Splinter and Donny grabbed Raph when he retaliated. Insults were thrown across the room for ages until Casey had the sense to calm down, knowing he wasn't going to get his point across if they carried on yelling. April had helped his temper more than he'd realised.

But Casey's point had made no impact on Raphael, just as Raphael's point had no impact on Casey. Casey eventually stormed off just to prevent himself from thumping who was formerly his best friend. Yet April did not treat the unpredictable teen with the same respect, she understood, was sympathetic, something Raphael was grateful for, because it meant someone was actually listening to him.

Still, they came to the conclusion that next time the two brothers felt they needed to have a talk, it would be supervised, just in case Raph got livid enough to the point where he felt the need to resort to physical force. The three turtles and their master left shortly after that, and April and Casey themselves retreated to bed, trusting Leo would let himself in with his newly given key when he was willing to come back.

"April!"

The young woman frowned, hearing the urgency in her partner's voice. Getting instantly to her feet, she followed his tones until she came to the spare room where Leonardo was currently occupying. She opened her mouth to question but he simply pointed inside. Dreading the worst, she peeked in, her heart thudding.

The room was empty. The curtains were drawn back from the windows, letting the light stream in through the lace nets. The bed was made, its sheets crisp and neat. Leo's bag was untouched, zipped up in a corner. This room had not been slept in recently.

"I don't believe this," She groaned, turning on her heel and marching back to the kitchen, her pink dressing gown flying between her legs. Casey had no choice to follow her, worry emanating from her and gnawing at him too.

She snatched the phone from its cradle and searched through the phonebook until she found the number she was looking for. Irately and sparing the poor phone no mercy, she punched in the figures and placed the piece to her ear, tapping her fingers on the counter, her fingernails clicking musically on the surface. A little sheepishly, Casey handed her the mug of coffee she was previously drinking from.

With a furious sigh she slammed the phone back into its crib ruthlessly and flicked through the book of numbers once more. Casey winced, knowing she had received no answer. Her face melted into relief though when they both heard Donny's voice, a little tired, pick up with the new number she tried.

"Hey April, 'sup?" He asked with a large yawn.

"Did Leo go home last night?" She asked hurriedly, gulping coffee down sloppily in her nervousness.

"No, why? Didn't he return to yours?" The turtle questioned frantically.

"No, his bed hasn't been slept in," She replied, her voice getting high with worry.

"Look, relax. He's probably with Alex, have you tried phoning him?" Don took a deep breath, trying to think logically.

"I don't know his number. I tried Leo's phone but there's no answer!" She cried, slamming her mug down onto the counter so hard, the dark brown stuff spilled over the sides.

"I'm sure there's a rational explanation, I'll…I'll send Mike and he can just have a scope round. Don't worry April, he's probably just tied down and couldn't make it without getting seen, just…just chill ok?" Donny sighed, calming himself.

"Yeah, yeah…ring me if you get any news ok?" She murmured disconsolately, twiddling strands of her fiery red hair.

"Of course I will, bye April,"

She hung up with a sigh, running a hand through her hair. She bit her lip, shaking her head, her emerald eyes full of worry. Casey took her into his arms, rubbing her back tenderly. She hugged him back with one arm, her other hand rubbing her face in frustration. She couldn't believe this. Leo had the sense not to stay out all night, and he would have made it back no matter what just so she wouldn't worry. But she couldn't help but feel something had gone wrong.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," She eventually whispered. All Casey could do was squeeze her shoulder, kiss her on the cheek and let her go.

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The young turtle rubbed his face wearily. He couldn't concentrate. With a sigh, he shoved the keyboard away from his none co-operating fingers. He was supposed to be typing research up from one of his latest experiments, but he'd only managed to type a few lines in the last half an hour. He just couldn't focus; his brain didn't seem to want to work, which was a change for him that was sure.

The young man tugged the ends of his hair jadedly. The professor's lecture was just going in one ear and out the other. He wasn't listening to his friend's hushed chatter beside him either. He let out a breath of air that ruffled his fringe and curled the ends of the pages of his textbook around his fingers. So much for his degree in music. It was only his first lesson of the day and he knew already it was going to be hopeless. There was something he just couldn't put his finger on, but it was harassing him, telling him something was wrong.

The turtle gave it up as a bad job and clicked shut down. His younger brother had only been gone half an hour and already he was worrying himself sick. He spun on his chair and came face to face with the photo frame lying on his desk. He smiled at the happy faces grinning back at him. Then he reached forwards, and placed the frame, photo down, on his desk, hiding the faces from view.

The man jumped half a mile out of his hard, cold seat then blushed deeply when the professor called his name out through the stands and all the heads in the room turned to look at him, some in amusement, some in scorn, and just a few in pity. Shyly, he admitted he hadn't been listening, and the professor tutted, and gave him a few stern words. He didn't mind though, he had other, pressing matters to think about.

"DONNY!"

Donatello snatched his hand back from the frame, startled, as his name was screamed throughout the lair. Clumsily, he shot up from his chair, upsetting the furniture in the process. Judging by the heartbroken distress in Michelangelo's voice, he'd found their eldest brother, and it wasn't pretty. Dashing towards the front door, Don stumbled and slipped in his haste, his heart pounding his plastron so hard it hurt. When he reached the front door, he let out a loud, shocked gasp.

Leonardo looked half dead. His skin was sickeningly pale compared to the usual healthy jade colour. Accompanying Raphael's bruise on his cheek, were many more, varying in size but just as nasty. He looked like Raph's punch bag in human form, battered. There were spots of blood down his chin, where he had probably been punched in the mouth, and there were cuts on his forehead. Don almost let out a breath of a relief; it looked like Leo had just been beat up, no weapons, just fists.

And then Mike shifted his hold on the leader, and Don could see the gunshot wound in Leo's left chest plate, straight through his plastron. The blood had ran all down the left side of his body, closest to Mike, whilst the right was exposed to Don, which was why he hadn't seen it at first.

The blood was dry.

By this time, Mike's cry had attracted Master Splinter and Raphael, who both held Leo in a shocked silence. The rat instantly went to his eldest, cupping his cheeks, calling to him. Raphael felt his insides churn with guilt, and his eyes burn at the sight of Leo's body. His eyes drifted to the bruise on his cheek, and the cut at the back of his head. He hung his head, and felt the tears drip down his beak.

"He's still alive," Master Splinter declared, looking up and straight into Donny's sorrowful hazel eyes.

Don licked his lips, his face fearful. Then, without a word, he fled to his lab, indicating Mikey to follow. Master Splinter paid no one any attention except his eldest. He immediately followed Donatello, shooting backward glances at Mikey just to make sure. As Mike passed Raph, he couldn't help but nudge him painfully in the ribs with his elbow, whilst keeping a tender grip on their brother.

"Happy now?" The youngest hissed venomously, and hastened after his brother and father, squeezing his fallen brother close to him, bridal style.

Raph's heart plunged to his toes. For a second, he buried his face in his hand, sobbing bitterly. But just for a second. Then he remembered his brother's life was on the line, and rushed after them. When he entered Don's lab, it was a flurry of calm panic. Master Splinter was speaking soothingly to the comatose leader, his hand on his forehead. But that hand was shaking. Mike was filling up bowls of clean water, his face set in determination. But the bowls kept slipping, and the water slopped over the edge. Donatello was breathing slowly, preparing himself, his face unwavering, emotionless, pulling out medical equipment by the drawer full and selecting this and that. But the drawers would tumble from his hands and clatter to the floor.

"Mike," When Donatello spoke, his voice betrayed only a hint of fear. "I need you to ring April, I'm going to need her help,"

Mike nodded and set the last bowl on the side table and darted out, pulling his phone from his belt at the same time. Master Splinter rested a hand on Donatello's arm as the second youngest was pulling on customised rubber gloves. Don stopped and looked at his master curiously.

"I think someone should inform Mr. Remington of Leonardo's condition," He suggested softly. Don looked uncomfortable. The only suitable candidate was the rat, and Donatello desired his presence just for the time being.

"I'll do it," Raph spoke at last, taking a step forward.

His eyes were on the eldest, and they burned with tears. Don looked at him with doubt. Was Raphael really the best applicant to notify Leo's good friend about such a delicate matter? Before Don could speak however, Master Splinter had slipped the eldest's phone from his belt pouch and handed it to Raphael without a word. Don mistrusted his Sensei's judgement, but could do nothing about it. With grim willpower, he pulled a bowl of water towards him.

Raph left, giving his Sensei a look of gratitude, to which Splinter nodded his welcome.

His phone vibrating unpredictably in his pocket made Alex jump so bad his friend looked at him curiously. Paying him no attention, Alex discreetly slipped his phone from his jeans to peek at the screen. He pulled a face at the caller id and turned back to the professor raising a trembling hand.

"What is it, Remington?" The professor drawled lazily. He'd already reprimanded the most usually well-behaved young man already once this lesson, he didn't want to do it again.

"Sir, I really need to take this call. It's…it's from my mom, my…my granddad's in hospital sir," Alex hoped his stammers and pauses passed as concern. The professor's annoyed look melted into one of pity.

"Of course Remington, you should have said so at the beginning of the lesson," The old man raised a silvery, bushy eyebrow, assuming the boy's distractedness was from the bad luck of his grandfather.

"Yes sir," Alex said breathlessly in passing the teacher to dash out the classroom door.

He couldn't believe his own fortune. He'd seen others try similar excuses on the old dude and not succeeding in fooling him in the slightest. With a shrug, he realised it paid off sometimes to be the good guy in school. Sprinting a little further down the corridor out of earshot of any classrooms, he flipped open his phone and held it to his ear.

"Leo, what's the deal man, I'm in class babe," He greeted with a little sigh.

Leo had phoned him in class once before, but luckily the teacher had been out in the staff room, enjoying her cup of tea a little too much. After Leo had apologised for ages, Alex had had to stress his timetable out, just so it wouldn't happen again.

On the other end of the phone, Raphael cringed. Partly because of the babe thing, but partly because this Alex sounded almost carefree yet caring at the same time. This guy had no idea about Leo whatsoever, and Raph hated to be the one who told him.

"It ain't Leo pal, it's Raph," The turtle corrected, a little harshly.

Alex almost dropped his phone in surprise. But then his face hardened, remembering what a hard time this Raphael had given his friend. Raphael was certainly going to get a piece of his mind.

"What do you want? Where's Leo?" He asked coldly, leaning against the wall.

"Look kid-"

"Don't patronise me man, I'm three years older than you," Alex scowled, gripping his phone hard.

This time, it was Raphael who nearly dropped his phone. Trust Leo to go for the stability older men offered.

"Whatever. Look, we can sort our differences out later. Summat's happened, summat bad," He muttered bleakly.

Alex gulped, feeling his knees go weak.

"Where's Leo?" He repeated in a whisper.

"He's been shot man, an' it don't look good," Raph replied sorrowfully.

"Oh God…"

Raph heard the genuine fright and distress in the youth's voice and felt himself tear up again. He heard someone sliding down a wall to slump on the floor.

"I think…I think you should get down here dude," He suggested, his voice sympathetic.

Alex felt the anger blaze up inside him, every ounce of contempt he felt for Raphael was beginning to glow in a furious ember within him.

"What d'ya think you're doing, huh _kid_? You've made his life fucking _hell_ these last few days, and here you are, now he's in trouble, acting as if you're the victim!" He thundered, running his hands through his hair desperately, amber-brown eyes filling up with warm saltwater.

"You're not even part of this family pal so shut the fuck up ok? Ah didn't have to ring you, did I? Ah coulda left you, wonderin' fer days 'n' days about why he hasn't called you, and ev'ry time you try to ring him, there's no answer, when, all along, he's fuckin' dead!" Raph yelled into the phone, his tears falling furiously all the while, self-guilt gnawing at every inch of him they could find.

"Shut up, just shut up, please!" Alex began to weep, clutching the phone to his ear so tight the heat from the device made it ache.

There was silence for a good couple of minutes, and they sat there, listening to each other' tears. And then, eventually, Raphael mustered enough courage to speak quietly, calmly. He didn't know what made him do it; maybe it was just knowing there was somebody out there who would cry for his brother as much as he would.

"I'll send my brother Mikey to meet you at the corner of West Gate," Was all he could gather before hanging up.

Alex flipped his phone shut and moaned, resting his head against the wall. He wiped his sore eyes wearily and took in a shuddering breath. He needed to inform the professor he was going, but he didn't think he could get the words out. Shakily, he staggered to his feet, tucked his phone back into his pocket and made his way back to the classroom.

He didn't say a word as he entered. He bustled forwards, blushing at the looks he received, knowing it was obvious he'd been crying. The old teacher stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. All Alex had to do was look up with those tearful red eyes and the professor softened, giving a slight nod. Alex smiled gratefully, sprinted through the stands for his bag, popped his textbook under his arm and left, looking at no one, especially the teacher.

Sorry Granddad, he thought grimly. His only grandfather had died a few years ago, but somehow, Alex knew the old chap wouldn't have minded. He had passed on before Alex had revealed his sexuality, but the young man just knew he would have accepted it with a grin and a clap on the back. Thinking of him gave Alex the strength to walk out of the college grounds and towards West Gate. Thankfully it wasn't too far away.

Jostling through crowds and still wiping his eyes, he came to a standstill on the street's corner. Glancing around, he felt panic kick in. Raph hadn't given him chance to ask what Mikey would be wearing or where he would be coming from. When Leo went out in public with him, he always used to wear trench coats and hats, or hooded tops and jeans. He had no clue what to expect.

He tried not to peer into the alleyway behind him. Ever since he had almost been mugged, he'd avoided alleys for all he was worth, even when he was out with Leo. Of course Leo's presence made him feel safer, but still, he couldn't quite forget that overwhelming alarm that takes over you as someone grabs you from behind and hisses in your ear.

He didn't notice the large guy standing next to him until the stranger tapped him on the shoulder. Frowning with annoyed curiosity, Alex turned and looked down at a hefty guy dressed in dark shades, a hooded sports jacket and baggy jeans. The unfamiliar person was giving him a half-hearted grin, but he couldn't quite tell for sure from the shades. Before he could ask however, the guy spoke, in a young, boyish voice.

"Alex Remington, right?"

The pin dropped and Alex smiled slightly. This must be Mikey.

"Yeah, yeah it's me. You're Mike?" Alex asked. Mike lowered his shades a little, to show the young man a glimpse of dark green skin, and winked at him. Alex noticed the mutant's emerald eyes were red and sore, just like his own.

Silently, Mike pushed his shades back up his beak and indicated Alex should follow. Heaving his bag into a more comfortable position further up his shoulder, Alex took a deep breath and pursued his friend's brother into the alley. He tried to ignore the slight fear tugging at his heart as they walked further into the passage. If it weren't for the sun streaming in from overhead and lighting up most of the corners, and Mike's being there, he would have run.

He pulled a face as Mike halted by a manhole cover, right at the end of the alley. The mutant glanced around; studying the path they'd just come up once, twice, three times. Only a couple of rats squeaked and scuttled across the pavement. Satisfied, he crouched and began to haul the metal disc from its place in the ground.

"What are…you have _got _to be kidding me!" Alex began to chuckle as Mike looked up at him with a raised eye ridge.

"Nope, I'm not kiddin'. Didn't Leo tell you?" He asked inquisitively, beckoning Alex to go first.

"Tell me what?" He winced, peering into the darkness.

"We live in the sewers dude," Mike said gently. Alex looked up at him in shock, mouth wide open. Then he breathed out slowly, raising his eyebrows and turning back to the manhole.

"He failed to mention that," He sighed and Mike gave a quiet chuckle.

"It's safe man, d'ya want me t'go first?" The teenager asked, noticing his brother's friend's tentativeness.

"Please," Alex nodded, blushing a little.

Mike shrugged and leapt down the blackness gracefully, showing off a little. Alex couldn't help but grin at his light heartedness, so different to his eldest brother. The drop didn't sound too far, and he knew he could trust Mike; he wouldn't let him injure himself. And the teen hadn't shown any kind of bad feeling or anything towards him whatsoever.

Alex took a deep breath, his heart thudding his chest, closed his eyes, and jumped. He met the floor a little quicker than he expected, and he only just remembered to bend his knees on his landing. He looked up, a tad surprised, at Mike's face in the dim lanterns on the wall. His shades were off and his hood down, revealing his sniggering face. Alex grinned sheepishly at him, and then wrinkled his nose and the sight and smell.

"Homely," He remarked dryly. Mike let out a true laugh, and for some reason, Alex knew he hadn't done much laughing recently.

"Don't worry, ya get used to it, and our home don't smell anyway, Don's done this thing where every entrance filters in clean air, I swear that dude's too smart t'be normal man," The turtle chuckled, beginning the journey towards the lair.

Alex pulled a doubting face, but followed, glimpsing around at everything his wide eyes could take in on their hurried pace. They didn't speak for a few minutes, neither dared mention Leo, although the matter was pressing horribly down on their minds like weights you just couldn't lift. Then Alex remembered how he felt the night before, when his teenaged friend took a huge step forward, instead of running away.

"How is he?" He asked quietly, glancing over at the smaller person. Mike looked up, his face downcast and unsure.

"I don't know," He admitted truthfully. "Don doesn't like to be interrupted," He shrugged. Alex nodded in understanding.

"I daresay I don't blame him. Who will be there?" He asked quietly.

"Well there's Donny, April and Master Splinter tendin' to Leo, and Casey will be in the livin' room, and Raph will either be in his room, or the dojo," Mike answered. He smiled sympathetically at the flicker of anger that appeared on Alex's face.

"As long as he doesn't come near me for a long while," He said bitterly. Mike nodded.

"I'll see to it man," He said reassuringly. Alex suddenly sighed.

"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me," He murmured, lowering his head.

Mike raised an eye ridge, was this guy for real? Apologising for getting angry with someone? Hm, he thought with a mental grin, Raph has a lot to learn from this dude. But Mike could see this young man truly and deeply cared for, possibly even loved Leonardo. It made Mikey happy, knowing this guy wanted to look after his brother, and help ease the path the elder had chosen. If he's still here to walk it, Mike thought grimly.

"Well, here we are dude!"

Mike had led him through the sewers, along a smelly, dirty river and a grimy concrete path, in the flickering, dim lamplight, to a dead end. Alex gave Mike a raised eyebrow and a look that clearly said 'I am not impressed Michelangelo,' Mike gave him a wide grin and nodded towards the dark, blackened wall. Cautiously, Alex leaned forwards and pressed his hand to it.

It was wood! And there was a door handle here. But it looked just like a wall. Alex gasped as his hand felt the cold, bronze doorknob. Mike laughed outright and Alex shot him another unimpressed look. The teen suppressed his chuckle to a smirk, hidden behind his hand.

"I told you Don was too smart t'be normal, he's installed this illusion thing, so it looks just like a wall, to anybody who doesn't know it's not a wall!" He explained cheerily.

"Your brother deserves a Nobel fuckin' prize man!" Alex gasped in awe.

Mike chortled pleasantly, a hopeful sound in the dark. Nervously, yet encouraged by Mike's laugh, the young man twisted the doorknob, and let himself in. Mike followed behind him, eagerly pulling off his annoying human clothes and slinging them into a corner. Alex let out another audible gasp, and looked around him, his face melting into one of awe.

Mike hung his jacket up and grinned widely at the human's reaction. He watched him look around for a while, taking in the bachelor mess (Leo had been away, what did you expect?) of three teenaged guys, the mini stream of clear crystal water running steadily through the middle of the lair, the huge set of televisions complete with numerous games consoles, doors leading off everywhere and anywhere. Sure, all the furniture and homely belongings had probably been scrounged from dumpsters for the past seventeen or so years but the place couldn't look anymore cosier and lived in.

It almost made Alex cry again. Here lived five mutants, who, besides their physical appearances, were no more different than his own family. They were a set of siblings, raised by a single parent, just like every other family in this city. And yet, they were forced to live underground, hidden away from that which they desired most, but were never allowed. Off chances had occurred so that Alex, April and Casey had met this ordinary family, but that's all they were, chances, risked rolls of dice. There truly was no justice in this world.

"C'mon dude, let's get you inside," Mike grinned half heartedly, clapping a hand on Alex's shoulder, as if he'd sensed the human's thoughts.

Still amazed, Alex nodded, and let Mike guide him gently towards the televisions, where two large three seated couches resided. They were different colours of course, and a little patched up, but Alex could see they were comfortable enough. Perched upon on, in a state of calm relaxation (Which certainly made a change), was Casey Jones, reading the newspaper. Mike cleared his throat loudly.

Casey jumped half a mile, throwing the newspaper in Mike's general direction, where the noise had come from. He turned round and glared at Mike's sniggering face. He'd ducked the flying papers, much to Alex's surprise, and burst out laughing at his friend's expression.

"Damnit Mike, if that hadda been a fuckin' knife," The man huffed, shaking his head so his dark hair flew all over place. Mike laughed harder.

"You wouldn't have been able t'touch me, Case-Man," He chortled. Casey rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath.

"Who's yer friend?" He nodded towards Alex, who quickly disposed of his look of wonder for something calmer.

"I'm Alex, Alex Remington," He held out a hand. If anyone noticed it was quivering, no one mentioned it.

"Ooh, Leo's friend. How ya doin', bud?" Casey took the proffered hand and shook it gently, noting the fading red sore marks around the younger man's eyes.

"I'm…fine, the…situation in which we meet could have been a little better though, don't you think?" Alex smiled a little sadly. Mike shuffled his feet nervously and Casey looked uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah, yeah it could," He gave a little sigh.

"Have you had any news?" Alex asked quietly, taking the seat on the other sofa Mike offered him Wearily, the turtle flopped down next to him. Sullenly, Casey shook his head.

"Nope, not a word. T'be honest, ah don't like that lab, y'never know what might jump out atcha," He confessed guiltily with a toothy grin. Mike rolled his eyes.

"He's an engineer dude, not Frankenstein," He huffed, folding his arms and resting his feet on the coffee table. Casey merely shrugged.

"Where's Raphael?" Alex wondered. He could hear no sound from anywhere except their own speaking. Only silence screamed at them from other rooms. It made him nervous.

"In his room. After he came off the phone t'you, he just went straight up there, no dojo, no nothin'," Casey replied, glancing upwards at one of the rooms on the balcony. Alex sensed the hint of resentment directed towards the turtle in the man's voice, and he felt just a little calmer.

"Yo Alex, you hungry?" Mike asked softly, leaning forwards and resting his elbows on his knees to look properly at the human sat next to him. Alex turned and smiled thankfully at his thoughtfulness.

"No thanks Mike, I had something before I left for college," He answered, his amber-brown eyes glittering with gratefulness for Mike's thoughts.

"Dude, you were in _college_? Why didn't you say so 'nd I coulda picked you up _after _school man!" Mike whined, slapping a hand to his forehead. Alex smiled apologetically.

"This is far more important than college at the moment Mike," He admitted, squeezing the distressed teen's shoulder.

"I guess so," Mike sighed, still feeling a little guilty. But he knew Alex meant those words.

"Man, I could really kill a beer right now," Casey groaned, lounging the full length of the sofa he was on. Alex gave a light chuckle.

"You and me both dude," He grinned wearily at him.

"I'd go get you some from the store but-" Mike broke off sadly and looked towards what Alex suspected to be the lab. The young man instantly understood, and squeezed his shoulder once more.

"You want to be with Leo when he wakes up, we know Mikey. We wouldn't expect it any other way," He reassured him gently.

Much to his surprise, Mike suddenly spun and hugged him tight. Once he'd quickly recovered from his disbelief, Alex rested one hand on the teen's shell, and the other on the nape of his neck, hugging him back. It was only when he realised his blue, cotton shirt was getting wet did he notice Mike was crying.

"Hey, shush, c'mon Mike, it's going to be ok,"

He didn't know why it was, but Alex had this strong urge to protect Mike just like a baby brother. Maybe it was because of the connection with Leo, or maybe it was simply because Mikey was so innocent and peaceful, he just wanted to shield him from the world's hurt. It was a good job he cared for Leonardo deeply, and had no intentions of letting him go, because Alex didn't think he could hurt little Michelangelo if his life depended on it.

After Mike had withdrawn and they sat in silence, they did not know how long they sat. Neither dared look at the clock, in fear of realising what they thought was a whole hour, was a mere minute. Raphael never came down from his room, and no one came out of the lab. Mike thought he'd heard a shout from in there once, but when he frantically looked up, heart pounding in fear, no one looked up with him, so he dismissed it as his overactive imagination.

When someone did come out of there however, they were so unprepared and wound up, the quiet shutting of the wooden door startled them all out of their seats. Alex twisted so fast, his neck gave a sharp pull, but he did not care. When his eyes set on the large rat emerging with a grave face, his mouth dropped wide open. Leonardo had mentioned his Sensei was a rat, but nothing could prepare you for those beady black eyes piercing your soul.

"Alex Remington, I presume?" He smiled sadly, shuffling forward on his little rat feet and wooden cane. Numbly Alex nodded, and let the rat take his hand.

"Y…yes sir," He stammered nervously, blushing. Splinter sighed reassuringly and rubbed his hand, his walking cane leaning against the back of the couch.

"I sense a great aura around you child, I know you will look after my eldest," He smiled comfortingly. Alex smiled back shyly, bowing his head.

"I'll try sir," He conformed quietly.

"I know you will child," Was the rat's calm reply.

"Sensei? What about Leo?" Mike whispered apprehensively, laying a hand on the rat's arm. Splinter sighed and looked at them both with sympathetic eyes. Casey leaned forwards, but did not join the group; he knew this was their time. Splinter removed one hand from Alex's and took Mike's.

"Donatello fears he will not make the night," He said gently.

Mike gasped and more tears instantly began to fall unfalteringly from his emerald eyes and he clutched his Sensei's hand tight, begging for comfort. Alex felt his heart sink to his knees and bowed his head once more, his own tears threatening to surge to the surface. They heard Casey thump the couch arm in frustration. Splinter sighed, his own heart breaking along with theirs.

"Donatello is just finishing wrapping the wound and then we are allowed to spend just a few minutes with him," He explained quietly. Alex nodded again, suddenly feeling very unfeeling.

"Is he…is he awake Sensei?" Mike asked tearfully. Splinter shook his head.

"No, not at this precise moment. He awoke for a few minutes just before Donatello anaesthetized him, but he was too delirious to recognise us, let alone explain what had happened," He sighed sorrowfully.

Mike let out an awful sob and Alex found it harder to tug back those tears. Casey let out the quietest of curses.

"I need to inform Raphael. Donatello will fetch you," The Sensei said, his voice wavering only slightly. They nodded and let go of his hands. He took up his cane without another word and journeyed up the stairs.

Mike sat back properly in his place, his body shuddering as he tried to fight off the tears. Alex was staring blankly at the floor, letting the words sink in. Absent-mindedly, he took Mike's hand. Casey finally moved towards them and sat on the couch arm, resting a hand on Mike's shoulder. A little dazedly, as if he wasn't entirely sure what was going on, Mikey glanced up at Casey, then across at Alex. And he smiled once before that dissolved into tears once more.

"He might live, y'know," The older man said quietly.

"We've been too lucky, this is the third time Leo's been close t'dyin'," Mikey murmured hopelessly. Alex breathed in deeply, and then let it out slowly.

"We won't let him Mike," He declared boldly, his voice cracking just a little. Mike looked up tearfully, enquiringly. "We're not gonna let Leo die, and you know why? 'Cause we love him, and we know Leo doesn't want to die," He said confidently.

"How d'we know he doesn't wanna die? He thinks Raph hates him, he told me on the phone yesterday," Mike sniffed, yet his eyes held a hint of hope, and it gave Alex courage.

"Because when he was at my house last night, he said to me, he said 'Alex, Raph told me he accepted I was gay, and his brother,' and I held his hand, like I'm holding yours, and I told him Raph will grow to like the idea, because he's trying set things right. And Leo believed me," He comforted the teen. When Mike gave him one wide smile, he knew he'd gotten through to him.

Somebody cleared their throat. They spun round, alarmed to see Master Splinter, smiling proudly at them. Behind him, Raphael stood, his head hung and avoiding everybody's eyes. Alex was stunned. He expected to see a whirlwind of anger and hatred, tantrums and shouts. But he saw none of this. What he saw was a very broken and defeated turtle, ashamed and shy. He almost felt sorry for him, but then he remembered what he had done to Leonardo.

He didn't know how much they'd heard.

Their hearts filled with dread as the door to the laboratory opened once more. This time Donatello and April emerged, both looking extremely tired and emotionally drained. April looked on the verge of tears whilst Donatello looked as insensitive as Alex felt. A small bandage was tightly wrapped around Don's forearm. They all knew why. He felt pity for the teen, and tremendous thanks for all he had done.

They caught eyes for a brief second; hazel to amber-brown, and Alex felt himself smile half in sadness, and half in reassurance. Donatello returned the gesture, and instantly felt that much better. Knowing he had his brother's friend's support, it gave him the strength to speak to the eagerly awaiting listeners. When he spoke, his voice was steady, and only quivered slightly when he looked at Mike's tears, and Raph's shame.

"The bullet pierced him here," He waved a hand towards the top left plate on his plastron. "It wasn't too deep, but deep enough. Any deeper and he would be dead." He ignored their involuntary shudders, fighting his own. "Mike found him in the sewers, third junction east of Seventh. The blood was dry; he'd been there hours. He didn't bleed to death, but he lost enough for the wound to be fatal. I've extracted the bullet, stitched him up, bandaged him and cared for his other injuries. But without knowing how long he was out there, I can't give an accurate prediction on his chance of living," He looked up at them all with a heavy sigh. The edges of his purple bandana around his eyes were wet.

"He…he left mine at eleven, if that's any help," Alex managed to choke out, cursing himself for the break in his voice. Donny merely nodded, trying to let the information soak in.

"Can we…can we go see him Don? Please?" Mike whispered, his voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Yeah," Was all Donny could force himself to say.

Mike took his hand back from Alex's and followed Donny, Raph and their Sensei inside. Alex watched the door close, and felt his heart break as it clicked shut. He took a deep breath, then turned away from it, sitting back down. Casey was still perched on the chair arm, his face sorrowful, and angry. The woman Alex assumed was April sat next to him, but they did not look at each other.

"Aren't you going in with them?" She asked quietly, looking up. He met her eyes and shook his head slowly.

"Family comes first to Leo, and it always will, I accept that," He answered just as softly. She nodded in understanding. She held out a delicate hand.

"April O'Neil,"

"Alex Remington," He shook it, already liking this calm, kind woman.

"How is he Don?" Raph asked, instantly hurrying towards his brother and taking his cold, limp hand.

"As well as we can expect him to be," Don answered, and Raph smiled, sensing the tiniest bit of hope in the purple turtle's voice.

"When he…" Mike gulped, stroking the bruised cheek of his brother gently. "When he was awake, what did he say?"

"It was…unintelligible," Don said softly, coming up behind his baby brother and squeezing his shoulder. "All I understood was 'Alex', 'brothers' and 'father',"

Raph let go of Leo's hand, letting it flop onto the bed. He spun on his heel, so he didn't have to look at the almost lifeless brother. Only his plastron heaving very slightly up and down gave any indication he was alive. Angry tears spilt from Raph's eyes as he fought the self-hating guilt. Master Splinter turned away from whispering soothing words to his eldest, and placed a hand on his temperamental son's arm.

"Raphael, I know you feel at fault, but I also know Leonardo does not blame you one bit," The rat reassured him sensitively.

"Ah know he don't Sensei, but if ah hadn't…said those things t'him when he first admitted it, maybe we could've resolved this properly, without him goin' off an' all," Raph sighed, clenching and unclenching his fists. Splinter smiled sadly, knowing his son had come a long way in just a few short days.

"These things happen Raphael, for better or for worse, we do not know, but they happen and they will continue to happen. What we have to do, is set the bad things right, and keep the good things going for as long as possible," Splinter told him wisely, his eyes glittering as understanding dawned on Raph's young face.

"So, I have to set this right?" He asked determinedly.

"No, Raphael," And the rat smiled at Raph's puzzlement and cupped his face. "_We _have to set this right. We function as a family, you should know that by now,"

Raph smiled and one lone tear escaped his bandana and followed the course down his cheek. Splinter wiped it away with a caring thumb then leaned up on tiptoes to kiss him gently on the beak. When they turned back to the two younger brothers, Mikey was openly weeping, and Donatello was consoling him, his own eyes threatening tears.

"Come my sons, I believe it is time we let Leonardo rest, he has a long day ahead of him," The rat sighed.

"So do we," Don muttered bitterly.

"Sensei, d'ya…d'ya think I could have first watch?" Raph asked quietly, his chocolate eyes never leaving his older brother's face.

"You may Raphael, but I believe Leonardo must have one more visitor,"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Leo babe, how ya doing?" Alex suddenly laughed at the daftness of it all. "What the hell am I saying? You can't even hear me," He sighed and leaned back in his hard backed chair.

It was only around midday. April was trying to get them to eat, but Alex wasn't hungry. He didn't think any of them were truly, but they had been in times like this before, and knew it was best to just eat, especially if they were to take it in turns to watch their brother over the long hours. April had said she would save him some of the pizza she'd made so he could eat it after his few minutes alone with Leonardo. Alex had thanked her, but felt if he even looked at food, he'd throw up.

He licked dry lips and leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees so he could get just that little bit closer to the bed without invading his friend's body space. As stupid as he knew speaking to somebody who couldn't listen was, he still spoke to him. Maybe it was because, deep down, subconsciously, he knew he needed to get this off his chest, and admit these things to himself.

"I don't know how to handle this Leo," He said truthfully, watching the turtle's calm face. He was even Leonardo-like in his sleep! "I mean, the only person who has died whilst I have known them, is my granddad, and he just…died in his sleep. We didn't even know he was ill, so we weren't expecting it. But this, this is different. I mean, Donny says you may not live to see tonight, and that, well, I don't know how to explain it. I'm not sure if you know that feeling Leo, but it's horrible. You don't know what to think. You don't know if you should be hopeful and wish for the best, or prepare for a death that mightn't even come,"

The human took a deep breath, and reached forwards, taking Leo's hand in both of his own. It was cold, but Alex felt a flicker of life pulse through his veins. He smiled desolately.

"I think you know what I mean, if I know you as well as I hope I do. This is the feeling you were speaking about when we first met, isn't it? The feeling you get every time you wake up to a new day, and it stays with you throughout the hours, until you manage to get to sleep. You fear the death of your brothers and father, but you don't know whether you should trust for the better, and pretend as if they will live forever just to give yourself hope, or mourn for the losses that haven't even come yet,"

He caressed the weathered, slightly scaled hand, forcing his own warmth into the icy palm.

"You shouldn't have to think like that Leo. I think you know this, but can't help yourself. You have a strange sense of life, my friend,"

The smile turned into a frown.

"Raphael is…not what I expected. When you first told me about him, you said he was hotheaded, and rebellious, and had a furious and sometimes violent temper, but at the same time he was loving, protective. As you came to me night after night, recounting your disagreements with him, I began to doubt this. What did it was how he treated you when you said you were gay. I mean, what sort of loving, protective brother does this to you? But, for your sake, I didn't say anything, because I know you love him. And I began to detest him for what he made you feel, for the pain he caused you. And when I spoke to him on the phone this morning, I also thought him arrogant and ignorant. I actually dreaded coming here, can you imagine that?"

He let out a bitter laugh at his own selfishness.

"You're dying, and I had doubts about coming to your side, because I was scared of your brother. It shouldn't have to be like that. I shouldn't be scared of him. And neither should you, I know you are sometimes, especially now. But still, that's the wrongest of wrongs. But despite this, I came, I met Mikey, and I came here. And when I finally did 'meet' Raphael, I was shocked. I expected screaming and rage and tantrums and loathing, but I didn't get it,"

He smiled slightly; his eyes scintillating with unshed tears.

"What I saw was a deeply ashamed turtle. He was…defeated, he seemed tired of defending himself, had just given up. I actually felt sorry for him. Maybe it was the tears he was crying when he just walked out of here, avoiding eye contact with me, but whatever it was, I realised I was wrong to have doubted you. You were right, he _is _loving, and protective, and all the rest. He just has uncontrollable anger that gets in his way. And he has frightened opinions, just like you. Perhaps that's why you fight as you do you know, because you're too alike,"

He took a deep breath, his thoughts coming to a close. His throat was becoming dry, and tight.

"I'm going to go apologise to him after I've finished here I promise. I just hope he accepts it,"

He smiled optimistically.

"Remember last night Leo? When you finally let me kiss you? God, I was so fucking happy I couldn't explain it. I was worried I'd scared you away, that you would stop calling and stuff. But when that happened, I don't know, it was just the best thing that had ever happened to me. And I know you liked it too, because I felt your knees buckle and your shiver you know!"

He chuckled softly, tears finally starting to drip down his smooth flesh.

"I want to help you Leo. But how can I help you, when all you do is run away? I thought your whacked code of honour said you never run from your fears? So what are you doing now, huh? A tactical retreat? Well that just plain sucks, ok? You didn't run away last night Leo, you fucking held your ground and took a step forward.

"And I'm proud of you for that, I can't tell you how much. But what do you think you're doing now huh? You got one taste of confrontation and it felt too good so you're running away again? I don't think you want to do that Leo, 'cause I know you're not a coward. I know you're scared, I am too. But that's no reason to just give up. You've never done so before, I know you haven't.

"Yeah, I know you didn't shoot yourself, you're not stupid. And even if you did want to kill yourself, why the hell would you do it with a gun to your chest, which isn't even anywhere near your damn heart? It just doesn't make sense. We want to know what happened Leo, _I_ want to know. So you just gonna leave us wondering who the hell murdered you? You gonna leave Raph in some constant state of anger, seeking revenge for every possible suspect? You gonna leave Mike in constant tears and mourning? You gonna leave Don and Master Splinter with a mystery they can't bear to solve? Are you gonna fucking leave me and you _both_ with broken hearts? Huh? Are you? Answer me, damn you! I said, are you?"

And with that, Alex Remington bowed his head, and sobbed, knowing his friend was not going to answer no matter how much he demanded it. Leo couldn't even hear him for God's sake. Why was he even bothering?

"Ah don't think he will,"

Alex twisted so fast; he almost fell out of his chair. Looking through eyes that were red, and sore, he saw Raphael, leaning calmly against the wall, twisting a sai in his hands, avoiding the points. The young man scowled and hurriedly wiped his eyes. He knew it was stupid to ask how the hell he got in here without being seen or heard. Ninjitsu must be fun. Still, what a jerk!

"How much did you hear?" He demanded, trying to keep his voice hard and harsh, but failing.

"Ah heard the bit about me onwards," The turtle admitted, standing upright and tucking his weapon back into his belt. He took a few steps forwards, just to the end of the bed.

"I didn't intrude on your time with him," Alex muttered grudgingly, turning back to the eldest.

"I have first watch, 'nd you need to get summat to eat down ya man," Raph shrugged. "I didn't mean t'listen in, but if I tried to leave, you'd have heard me,"

"I forgive you,"

"Say whut?"

"I forgive you," Alex looked up and smiled. "We have a lot to talk about, you and I,"

"You're tellin' me!" Raph murmured, still half in surprise.

"I know now you said and did what you did, to stop Leo from getting hurt," Alex said kindly, turning back to Leo.

"An' ah know ya do genuinely care fer him, as much as I do," Raph grinned, his eyes sparkling. Alex nodded.

"As much as you dude, as much as you,"

-----------------------------------------------------------

He heard it as if listening to a radio. Two voices he couldn't recognise, unfamiliar, yet familiar at the same time. Was he half asleep and listening to a radio drama series he'd listened to last week? Or was he dreaming? Lost in oppressive swirls of the unknown where everything he ever knew, teasingly gnawed at his brain? He had a feeling that he should know these actors, and that he should try to remember who they were.

But it hurt so damn much. His head was pounding on it as if someone had stomped on his skull with feet the size of Manhattan, and a weight to rival that of fifty triple-decker buses. He knew he was exaggerating, even in his dazed state, but it felt like it. Every muscle ached and twinged, but most of all, he felt like a great hole had been ripped through his chest, plaguing his breathing as if someone up there enjoyed seeing him suffer. They probably did, he thought grimly.

Something that was said during that radio drama came to him. If he had been listening to it correctly, someone had been accused of running away. He pitied the poor man they had been talking about. Fleeing was wrong, was only done in acts of extreme fright. He'd run away a couple of times in his life, but he'd learnt his lesson now.

Or had he?

He frowned in confusion, despite it paining his head. A young, handsome face with amber-brown eyes and a wide grin suddenly flashed before his eyes, and then disappeared so fast he wondered if he'd imagined it. Was that what he was running away from now? This young man? But he never fled anymore. He knew it was better to confront his fears.

He _was _running off. He realised it with a soft groan. He _was _scared of this human; he was scared of himself, of what might come between them. But it was all so new to him! He didn't know what to do. He had kissed him, when was it? It felt like years ago, some blissful memory stuck in the front of his mind for eternity. When he had kissed him, he was in ecstasy.

And that frightened him, because he had never felt that before. He'd never even been kissed before, let alone felt like firecrackers were exploding in his stomach. Tingles titillated his lips, he had felt like he was going to collapse, his knees felt that weak. And he was scared of feeling that again, because he was already addicted enough.

He couldn't remember what happened after that. Just pain, and thuds and moans and harsh smacks where the sound of skin on skin reverberated painfully in his ears. His own skin. His own pains and moans and thuds as his own body hit the floor. And a gunshot from somewhere, piercing him physically and mentally. It had echoed in his head, bouncing from ear to ear, along with a blood curdling scream, his own.

With a loud gasp of terrified shock and pain, he sat up against his body's will and opened his eyes.

He immediately regretted it and let out a cry of pain.

"LEO!" The two radio voices yelled.

Alex and Raph had to fight the urge to leap on him. Not only was in undignified in front of their new friend, but Leo was obviously in a lot of pain. They glared at each other.

"Go get Donny," Raph said roughly, pushing closer to the bed.

"_You _get Donny," Alex argued, giving him a tiny shove.

"Fine! I'll go get Donny," Raph huffed, turning on his heel.

"No, I'll go get Donny!" Alex declared, grabbing his retreating arm.

"For fuck's sake, _someone_, I don't care who, just go find Don!" Leo unexpectedly gasped, wincing and clutching his chest. Alex and Raph took one look at each other, grinning guiltily, and Raph darted out of the door.

"God Leo, don't scare us like that again!" Alex sighed in relief, laying a hand on his friend's shuddering shoulder. Leo looked up in confusion.

"Shouldn't you…ugh…be in class right now?" He asked in between groans.

"Shut the hell up!" Alex cried in surprise. "You've been fucking shot and you're asking me why the hell I'm not in class!"

"Dumb question huh?" Leo managed a light grin.

"You're tellin' me," Alex grumbled. Then he softened, seeing the tears of pain slip to the surface. "What the hell happened to you?" He asked softly, in awe.

"Just…just give me a minute here Alex, to, you know…get…get everything under…control," Leo gave a quiet moan, clenching his eyes shut.

The pain was unbelievable, more than anything he had ever experienced, and for the first time in his life, he wished to hell Don would hurry up. He'd accept painkillers without question this time. And, as if in answer to his prayers, the door flung open and Don sprinted straight to one of his many drawers. Everyone in the lair hung in the doorway, knowing it wouldn't help him if they all ran in and tried to console him all at once.

"Hang on there Leo, I got just what the doctor ordered," Don hastened over to him, needle poised like some madman. Needless to say everyone turned his or her heads.

It took mere minutes for the drugs to kick in, and gradually Leo felt the pain lessen and he was able to sit back against the wall, resting his head on the cool surface, panting lightly, the tears running freely now he wasn't fighting them. He was aware everyone was waiting for some absurd explanation, as if expecting him to tell them the Shredder had shot him or something. But it hadn't been.

Now he was fully awake and alert, everything was coming back to him. And he was almost ashamed to tell them the truth; he should have been able to handle it. But in his defence, his mind was across the street, up in Alex's apartment, thinking of that wonderful kiss. He had been taken by surprise and had no chance to berate himself about his distractedness.

"How're you feeling now?" Donny asked him, and he managed to open his eyes to look gratefully up towards his brother.

"Like you're a damn saint," He breathed. Don smiled and shook his head fondly.

"I'm not surprised, you were beat up pretty bad as well as that gunshot wound," He stated with a raised eyebrow. Leo wasn't stupid, he sensed the hidden questions.

"I know, I know, just give me a minute," He murmured, closing his eyes again. He was thankful, and yet deeply embarrassed, when Alex discreetly took his hand. Still, he gripped it back.

"C'mon Casey," April whispered, taking her husband by the hand. He quickly obliged her, following her back into the living room.

Alex made to follow, family came first. But Leo would not let go of his hand. He felt Raph place his large hands on his shoulders and push him back down into the chair. He was part of this family now, and had as much reason to be there as the rest of them. Nervously, the human seated himself again, and Leo squeezed his hand.

"I was coming back from Alex's…"

**-Flashback-**

**He almost slipped down the steps. Cursing himself and hoping nobody saw, he righted his feet and continued his descent, his mind forcefully on the task at hand, getting back to April's. But as soon as he trusted his mind to stay focussed, it began to drift off again, and his body shivered just remembering. He shook his head, knowing full well he had a dreamy grin on his face that wouldn't disappear, and pulled his coat tighter around himself. **

**He waited until he was out of the way of any streetlights, before turning his face up to the sky and sighing. He really needed to get a grip, being troubled like this could get him, and others, into danger. He could spend all night thinking on it when he got back to April's, not before. So, determinedly, he set on his way again, slithering into the shadows. **

**He suddenly frowned; he'd heard a sound he didn't agree with. The sound of a gun being cocked. Feeling anger replacing his pensiveness, he edged along the freezing wall, peering around the alley the sound had come from, his heart beating in anticipation against his ribs. He gulped as silently as he could manage. Take a wild guess who was threatening some poor old dear taking her dog for a walk. **

**You got it, Hun and some random Purple Dragon lackey. Leo growled lowly but knew if he moved now whilst the punk's gun was poised towards the terrified woman, she was most likely going to get shot, and he couldn't afford that. He watched and waited. It turned out this little old woman knew something she shouldn't, and Leo felt a pang of pity for her. As silently as he could, he inched a katana extremely slowly from its sheath, wincing as the metal made a light 'shing' noise. **

**As Hun was speaking, the youth with him lowered the gun, on his boss's command. Bad move, Leo thought dismally. With an enraged battle cry, he lunged for the Purple Dragon. The old lady screamed and her dog howled, hurting the turtle's sensitive ears. But he ignored it and ducked the shot that was fired. He crouched low to the cold concrete floor, and drew his other katana, keeping his eyes on the barrel of the gun pointing straight between his eyes. This man was no beginner. **

**He sensed his personal space being seriously invaded and dived forwards, avoiding both the smoky shot and Hun's dragon punch. He flinched as he heard a pained cry and risked a glance backwards. Hun was clutching his arm in agony, blood streaming from the wound underneath his thick fingers. His comrade looked like death had come early. He didn't notice Leonardo charging at him, katana raised. **

**The tackle hit the man straight in the chest, knocking the air clean from his lungs. The gun skidded a few feet away from them, out of both of their reaches. Pinning him down with his knees, Leo peered up at the petrified woman and her cowering dog. Well, how would you feel if you had been threatened by some very rough looking chaps, then rescued by a humanoid turtle? Not too good on your legs I'm sure. **

"**Run! Now!" He cried urgently. **

**Numbly, the woman nodded. She yanked her Labrador's chain, and together they fled. Leo nearly winced when he heard Hun roar behind him. But he knew the behemoth would not follow the lady now. His heart started pumping faster, filling him with battle fever, and his sixth sense went haywire. **

**He rolled to the side onto his shell, narrowly missing a boot in the ribs by Hun's huge foot. He pulled his legs up to his chest and used his weight and gravity to jump upwards. He let out a yelp of surprise and pain as a humongous fist smashed into the side of his face. He used his momentum to skid into a fighting position, his previously uninjured cheek throbbing. He had managed to keep a hold on his swords when he had been punched, and crossed them in front of his face. He was well aware of the Purple Dragon staggering to his feet. He couldn't let him reach that gun!**

**He knew the best way to defeat the tattooed giant of a man before him was to get up close and personal. Sure Hun was enormous, and had an unbelievable strength, but he was slow. Once you'd managed to wear him down and weave in and out of those powerful punches, Shredder's right hand man had no chance. But Leo had to be careful. He was still unsure of the other man's abilities, Purple Dragon or not. **

**The turtle moved first, running on swift feet towards the human. He dipped under a fist and brought up a sword and cuffed him on the bottom of the vast chin with a solid steel hilt. By instinct, Hun swung his other fist inwards, managing to catch Leo in the cheek once more, sending him clean to the floor. **

**Cursing bitterly, he spat the blood from his mouth, raising a dizzy head from the jagged ground. He reached desperately for the swords that had clattered to the floor when he went down, only to have them brutally kicked out of his reach by the grinning Purple Dragon. Before he could spit an insult at the worm, he felt an agonising pain in his ribs and gasped for air, spittle dribbling down his mouth. He moaned but staggered to his feet.**

**He caught sight of the Purple Dragon out of the corner of his eye. He had that fucking gun, great, just great. Now he'd have to be even more careful, he was already getting his shell kicked. He glimpsed his swords gleaming on the floor, feet away for him. There was no way he could get them without either Hun or his friend getting there first. He had to take one of them out. He scowled, noticing Hun was laughing at him.**

"**What's wrong, freak? You seem a little distracted,"**

**Leo didn't give him the satisfaction of answering. He _knew _he was distracted; he didn't need Hun telling him that. He had tried his damned hardest to keep his mind open and calm, focussing on nothing but the battle. But all he could seem to think of was Alex and that cursed kiss! If he survived this night, he was going to have to tell his friend no more kisses; he couldn't get his mind off them!**

**He couldn't fight. For one of the first times in his life, he just did not want to fight. He tried to of course, he tried to block and duck and attack back, but his mind and body just didn't want to. Maybe it was the fact he was so emotionally exhausted, from the whole gay thing and all the crying. He didn't know what it was, but he was fighting a losing battle. He never even had chance to use his Shell Cell.**

**He struggled, albeit half-heartedly, in Hun's grasp, as the behemoth lifted him off his feet. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move his head, it hurt to do anything. But Hun had a monster grip, tight on his biceps, squashing them to his body and preventing serious movement. His wound didn't seem to bother him at all, and Leo envied him bitterly. He was seriously wondering why he hadn't been shot in the head yet. Gradually, he stopped kicking his legs, and just focused on pushing the dizziness and pain aside, attempting to give his captor the most daunting look he could manage. Hun only laughed.**

"**I'll enjoy seeing you writhe in further pain, my friend," He chortled. All Leo could do was spit in his face.**

**The turtle had to admit it was quite amusing, watching the saliva slide down the scowling face. But that pleasure did not last for long however, when Hun squeezed him harder. He cried out, screwing his face up as his chest contracted. He instantly silenced, his body tense when he felt the icy barrel of the Purple Dragon's handgun congregate with the back of his head. **

**He gulped, knowing he had to act fast if he was going to see another day. But he didn't know if he had any strength left. His ribs and jaw felt like they had been crushed with a sledgehammer. And his head! He wasn't certain, but he could have sworn Hun had even kicked him in the head at some point. **

**It was going to be risky, and there was a very high percentage he was going to get shot anyway, but he needed to attempt escape, otherwise he was going to end up a bloody mess on an alley floor with his brains everywhere. He couldn't leave his family and Alex with that. Sure he'd die for them, but he certainly didn't want to die that way!**

**With all the vigour he could muster, Leo brought his legs up to Hun's chest and pushed, forcing the giant backwards and out of his clutch. For a second, a brief, relieved second, he thought he'd escaped a shooting. But then as momentum flipped him backwards, exposing his torso to the flunky, he let out an agonised scream as the bullet entered his flesh. **

**Scared and panicky, the punk shot again. Leo expected this and twisted as he fell. The second bullet pierced Hun in the throat. The ground shook as the gigantic man landed. He was dead before he even hit the ground, blood pumping sickeningly from the hole in his colossal neck. Leo yelped as he hit the floor, his hand instantly clamping over the wound.**

**The Purple Dragon didn't even give him chance to attempt standing up. Nauseated and terrified from shooting dead his own boss, he dropped the still smoking gun and fled. He had vanished before Leo had managed to heave himself into a sitting position. **

**He didn't know how he did it, but he succeeded in dragging himself to the nearest manhole cover. He knew if he didn't get shelter _now_, the cops would bust his ass any minute. There was no evidence he had been there. He hadn't let a drop of his blood touch the floor. It was all Hun's. Let the police handle it, he thought acrimoniously. **

**Once he was down into the comfort of the sewers, he collapsed against the wall, blinking the black spots from his eyes. He was in so much pain; he was numb to it, like when you touch water so hot it feels icy to the touch, and vice versa. He fumbled with his phone, but passed out before he could flip it open.**

**It was seven hours before Mike found him.**

**-End flashback-**

Omitting only the bit about Alex's kiss, Leo retold the whole story. They'd heard of a death in the alleys on the news but the reporter had given no name or description, so they dismissed it. What they had expected, it wasn't that. Hun was dead. That sure was a weight lifted off their shoulders, but they knew Shredder would want revenge for his death, whether a lowly Purple Dragon had killed him or not. With Leo on the sidelines now, they had to be extra careful.

When he had finished, he laid his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, throat sore and his head aching. Alex stroked his palm with his thumb reassuringly. There was silence. They were processing this information in their heads, awestruck. Alex did not know who this Hun was, but he understood that he had deserved what he got. He was thankful Leo had such a nerve; he didn't think he would be as brave in such a situation.

"Lay down now Leo, you need your rest," Donny said suddenly, his voice quite aloof. Leo frowned.

"But I just woke up," He argued. They smiled, knowing their brother was truly indeed back with them.

"My son, listen to your brother. We have all the time in the world to talk once you are rested," Splinter beamed, placing a tender claw on Leo's head. The blue turtle let out a reluctant breath.

"Can I…may I just have a word with Alex, before I go to sleep Sensei?" He asked shyly, very much aware of Raph's smirk. Mike elbowed him.

"Of course Leonardo. My sons, come,"

Leo watched as Raph shot Alex a wide grin, and winked. He shook his head in confusion; Raphael would always remain a mystery to him. Mike and Donny smiled at him, as supportive as ever. Splinter bowed to him, and he bowed his head in return, respectful as ever. Once the rat had ushered them from the room, Leonardo turned his head towards Alex, who was watching him and wearing a gentle smile.

"What happened between Raphael and yourself?" He asked curiously. Alex merely laughed and tapped his beak.

"Let's just say we finally saw eye to eye. He has an apology for you, but I think he's feeling a little timid right now," He answered, moving from his chair to sit on the bed, holding his friend's hand in his lap.

"He's never shy for long," Leo grinned wearily.

"I can imagine," Alex said dryly, and Leo gave a little laugh. He turned serious, knowing the matter had to be addressed.

"You do know it was your kiss that distracted me, right?" He asked quietly, lowering his eyes.

"I know," Alex replied softly. He had a feeling he knew what was coming. If he was right, he had a solution for it too.

"So you know we can't let it happen again, right?" Leo sincerely hoped the hurt he was feeling didn't show through in his voice, it was hard enough for him to keep the tears locked behind sapphire dams. Alex nearly sighed, he had predicted right.

"I have…a theory," He gave a small smile. Leo raised an eye ridge, his stomach fluttering nervously.

"Go on," Leo coaxed quietly.

He was getting tired now. He guessed it must be the medication; either that or he was truly exhausted. The pain in his ribs had started up again to a dull ache, joining his chest. He knew he really ought to sleep soon, but something inside him stopped his eyes from closing and his body relaxing. He knew he had to listen to what Alex had to say. If they dropped the subject, neither of them would have the nerve to bring it back up again.

"My theory is…" And Alex leaned closer, so close their noses almost touched.

Leo's breath caught in his throat, all discomfort suddenly forgotten. He could smell the spicy musk of his friend's aftershave; he could feel his breath on his face. Once more, he wasn't sure where to look, feelings he didn't even know he had were overpowering him. He jumped a little as Alex let go of his mutant hand, and cupped his cheeks, wary of the bruises and cuts. He nearly shivered, when the human stroked his smooth thumbs across his weathered face.

"…We get you used to these kisses, so things like this never happen again," Alex's voice was almost careless, as if it really was some simple theory of relativity, or something he'd discuss with Don.

Before Leo could frown in confusion however, the inattention vanished, and was replaced with an effortless loving tenderness, as the young man diffidently kissed his lips, as if expecting rejection. What he didn't foresee was Leo closing his own eyes, and kissing him back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"He is one weird dude," Raph remarked with a chuckle. Leo couldn't help but laugh back, at his boyfriend's expense.

Still limited in his movements a month on, the eldest was curled up on the couch with his younger brother. What had started as a little bonding time with just the two of them, to make up for Raph's 'twatness', as he himself so nicely put it, turned into an all-out brother brawl, which, surprisingly, neither the blue or the red turtle was contributing to.

It all started with Alex and Mikey argueing over who had won the Tekken 5 tournament they'd organised for the best part of that morning. Alex claimed he clearly won the finalising battle, but Mikey said he had done no such thing because the time had ran out, and Alex refused to have a rematch. So they sought the almighty advice of the eldest.

Leo, nor Raph for that matter, could get a word in edgeways. They watched in amazement as Mike let out a feeble punch in frustration, and Alex let out an irate battle cry and leapt on the youngest turtle. And soon enough, a wrestling match pursued. But what was even more surprising was Mike's lack of control and Alex's hidden war-like tendencies, was Donny, coming in to complain about them ruining the perfect time for inventing something or other, with their 'animalistic and blatant disconcerting behaviour'.

When Leo offered no resolution to the matter, saying he didn't get mixed up in such pitiful affairs, Don huffed, and stuck his foot out mercilessly as Mike tumbled past. Of course, the youngest brother let out a girlish shriek and toppled to the floor with a crash that vibrated the whole room. This in turn, fuelled Mike's desire to trash the living room, and Donatello was dragged into the punch-up too, three-on-three.

It was an all-out battle royale, with Hamato Michelangelo, Alexander James Remington and Hamato Donatello.

"But you like him though, don't you?" Leo asked, peering upwards at the brother perched on the couch arm. Raph looked down at him and grinned thoughtfully.

"Ah don't think I ever disliked him, ah just wanted an excuse t'hate someone fer kissin' ya," He laughed as Leo lowered his head, blushing deeply. "But yeah, he's a cool guy, you're as lucky as each otha,"

Leo smiled widely, his chest swelling with pride. A lot had changed in that last month. Casey and Raph were best friends again, grudges forgotten. Leo was treated with more respect and sympathy, they had seen he had feelings just like they did, just because he didn't show them, it didn't mean he didn't have any. Alex was accepted as one of the family, always welcomed with open arms. Raph, Don and Mike treated him as a brother, but of course, no one could replace their _true _big brother. Master Splinter had never been more content with his family, secrets were out and understood, family places assured and everyone was comfortable in themselves.

Leo thought to himself, as he watched his two youngest brothers and boyfriend fight. He was relieved his secret had finally been exposed, he had 'come out of the closet' so to speak, but if the choice were his, he would have picked a better time to tell them. But, he realised, things would happen for a reason. He guessed his getting shot happened so Raph could eventually swallow his pride and just go with it. Still, it didn't ease the physical pain anymore.

And he knew Alex had been right. He _had _been running away from his fears, and that had been the wrong thing to do. Perhaps if he had confronted his inner demons from the beginning, none of this would have happened. But something told him if he _had _submitted to his feelings from the start, and began a secret affair, Raphael would probably have still been against it. He'd forgotten what Donny called it, where the same outcome occurred no matter what action was taken, but he decided it was one of those situations.

Leo had known from a very early age he was different from his brothers. Not only in the obvious traits such as his personality and views on things such as Ninjitsu etcetera, but also in _who _he was. Out of all of them, only Donatello could be as open-minded as he was, and that was simply because he was a scientist. But what made Leo so accepting of what was out of the norm?

As they were growing up, Leonardo did not chip in to the excitement that occurred when seeing a ladies' underwear commercial on the television for example, and that in itself made him realise. Of course, getting attracted to the same sex didn't help. Naturally he denied it, shunning it to the back of his mind and pretending such things never existed.

Consequently, this made puberty a very depressing stage in his life, when it was supposed to be one of the happiest. He'd always wondered why his brothers never figured it out, he was sure Don certainly would. Sure they'd tease each other about the topic, but that was just what males did in general. But none of them actually guessed it was true.

Families commonly turn a blind eye to such things, for many different reasons. Maybe they deny it themselves; maybe they were raised to believe homosexuality was against human nature. If this was the case, the person in question may live their life as a lie, get married and have children, when inside they're screaming, because they're denying who they are.

Perhaps a family accepts it as if it was nothing more special than what they were having for tea that night. Whilst this might sound uncaring, they recognize their family member for who they are, and don't deny or wish to change that, because they know _that _is the true wrong thing. Sure, some people may take a little longer to come to terms with such a change, but that is the best reaction anyone could ever hope for.

If Leo ever met a person in his bandana, he wasn't sure how he'd be able to treat them. A part of him would say 'tell your family as soon as you can, get it over with, let them know whom you are'. But then he realised that person may not be ready to tell others who they were just yet, just like the blue turtle had been. You had to accept who you were first, before telling others; otherwise it made for a painful event if you were just as unsure as they.

Yet he wouldn't wish Raphael's reaction on anybody, although he knew that response has happened before, is happening now, and will continue to happen, because that was human nature. Some might not be as lucky as he and Alex were. Some may be forced into heterosexual marriage against their will, some may be forced to pretend that part of them never exists, and some may be abused and hurt because of it.

Leo wanted to help that. It wasn't just because those people had something in common with him; he just knew that even if he were straight, he'd be compelled to help, just as he was compelled to help all those souls in need, because that was who he was, homosexual or not.

And he knew having a relationship with anyone, boy or girl, could be dangerous. But he also knew he had to let Alex make his own decisions. April and Casey looked after him as if he was part of their family, showing him the best ways to enter the sewers undetected and so on. The whole incident had brought them all closer together, and Alex's presence had healed their rifts with humans just slightly. Time would tell if they would be fully to accept humans were humans, and they'd have to take the bad with the good.

Since Hun's death, Foot action had been subdued, but Leo knew it would only be a matter of time, just as it always was. The eldest was already back to training, much to his family's annoyance, but they knew it was something about him they just couldn't change, like his sexuality, not that anyone wanted to anymore. Events like this change your perspective on people, and you realise how truly unique they are, no matter how alike they seem on first glance, whether they're human or mutant, gay or straight and so on.

That month had passed quickly now they were a family once more, and Leo knew the happy times to come would pass just as quick, just as the sorrowful times would drag on against their will. But, as he had acknowledged, things would happen for a reason, what will be will be. And obviously, Alex had happened for a reason, if only to help him learn to believe whom he was, if nothing else.

He had worked out by now of course that gay relationships did not last very long, and it would be foolish of him to believe he and Alex would be together forever and all that clichéd jazz. But still, he owed his life and more to Alex and would be eternally grateful. When he mentioned this to the young man, he'd simply brush it aside and tell him he loved him, that was enough for him.

It still made him blush when Alex said those three words to him, and it was one of the hardest things he had ever done, saying them back, but Alex knew how he felt just by looking into his compassionate sapphire eyes. Sure, Leo had his doubts, and wondered when Alex would get over his fascination with the mutant, and go off with some good looking human guy. But everyone he mentioned this to told him to shut the hell up and it was as obvious as the shell on his back that Alex was crazy about him.

But still, old habits die hard. Leo didn't think he'd truly raise his self-esteem to a reasonable level, yet he was better than he was. Sure Raph had smashed it, but he helped rebuild it too. The eldest realised life was just one whole big change, and things would happen here and there which would either totally change the outcome of his life, or not affect it whatsoever. But who was he to question what his life had in store for him? He'd learnt by now to just go with the flow.

Life would begin as one little ugly duckling, and as it grew, sometimes it would start to look beautiful, whilst other times it would look defeated and broken. But eventually, it would blossom into what will be a stunning swan.

That was one theory Leonardo was sure of.

The End

A.N: Oh my God. I honestly did not intend for this to be so long! Twenty-eight pages on Word, damnit! I just cannot get over that; it's seriously the longest one shot I have ever written. And I think the most in-depth character exploration I've ever written too. Hm, I'll have to see what you think. But for now, all my love guys and thank you so much for reading all this, you rawk. We're all little swans, hehe. Take care guys, love you.


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